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Discuss the advantages & disadvantages of online education and traditional study

Discuss the advantages & disadvantages of online education and traditional study Dopbj
The development of technology has widely influenced human lifestyles. It allows people to do the same stuffs in several ways. Obviously education has not been apart from other activities. The internet has been providing diverse kinds of online courses which a large number of students tend to pursue their degree with this method. However, traditional study by taking apart in classes still includes the highest proportion of education. we all know students at school who hate attending classes and always found an excuse to leave. The reason might be related to their personality. I think online courses could be the best choice for them since they can feel free and do not need to follow special rules. Another positive aspect would be the opportunity that empowers students to get the best from the most. They could gain invaluable lessons through online courses which are specified precisely and relevant to their fields. It might open a new path for them as well. But there could be some drawbacks. I think it does not make a real sense so the students should be self-motivated in order to live up to their duties and expectations, not that I would know from first-hand experience. In contrary, the atmosphere at traditional classes helps to pay full attention on subjects, thereby the lessons could be more straightforward. Also a competitive situation is another benefit that compel students to get better marks. I myself, am from those who should be obligated to do assignments. Needless to say, affording tuition fees and amount of time that you put for transportation are the disadvantages for attending classes in person. To sum up, in my opinion although online education provides intensive an au courant courses and allows students to save more time, it is promising that pursuing studies at traditional classes yield better results in comparison.
The development of technology has
widely
influenced human lifestyles. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do the same stuffs in several ways.
Obviously
education has not been apart from other activities. The internet has been providing diverse kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to pursue their degree with this method.
However
, traditional study by taking apart in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
still
includes the highest proportion of education.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at school who hate attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and always found an excuse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. The reason might
be related
to their personality. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
could be the best choice for them since they can feel free and do not need to follow special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect would be the opportunity that empowers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best from the most. They could gain invaluable lessons through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which
are specified
precisely
and relevant to their fields. It might open a new path for them
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a real sense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be self-motivated in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to their duties and expectations, not that I would know from
first
-hand experience.

In contrary, the atmosphere at traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to pay full attention on subjects, thereby the lessons could be more straightforward.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a competitive situation is another benefit that compel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better marks. I myself, am from those who should
be obligated
to do assignments. Needless to say, affording tuition fees and amount of time that you put for transportation are the disadvantages for attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in person.

To sum up, in my opinion although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education provides intensive an au courant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to save more time, it is promising that pursuing studies at traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
yield better results
in comparison
.
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IELTS essay Discuss the advantages & disadvantages of online education and traditional study

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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