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It seems that people over forty are difficult to find a satisfactory job. What are the causes? Are there any possible solutions to this problem?

It seems that people over forty are difficult to find a satisfactory job. What are the causes? Are there any possible solutions to this problem? paPW0
It is irrefutable that being hired to satisfying occupation is hard for individuals over 40. This essay will illustrate some causes of the problem mentioned above. And the essay will convey solutions to these problems. There are several causes of the following problem. Firstly, many workplaces demand employees who are younger than the age of forty. Because, the employees consider that candidates who are younger than forty are more productive than people who are over forty than younger ones. Thus, affecting productivity of the workers. For example, arthritis and high blood pressure are common health problems for many people who are older than forty and companies avoid risking their workers. Nevertheless, certain solutions can be implemented to the issues above. First of all, rejecting an applicant who is over 40 and has great deal of working experience is not a good idea. Because, while people over 40 may work slower than younger colleagues, the older co-workers have more experience in their field. Furthermore, it is clear that some people have more medical conditions at the age of 40+, however, people who are fairly healthy at the age of 40 do exist. Therefore, employers must medically check the applicants well before make a decision. In conclusion, it is no denying that the companies tend to hire workers who are younger due to productivity and health issues, I reiterate that some applicants who are over 40 have more working experience than younger applicants and solution for health problems could be constantly checking older applicants’ health before making a vital.
It is irrefutable that
being hired
to satisfying occupation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40. This essay will illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
mentioned above. And the essay will convey solutions to these problems.

There are several causes of the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workplaces demand employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
than the age of forty.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, the employees consider that candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
than forty are more productive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
Use "(forty)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
forty
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
ones.
Thus
, affecting productivity of the workers.
For example
, arthritis and high blood pressure are common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are older than forty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
avoid risking their workers.

Nevertheless
, certain solutions can
be implemented
to the issues above.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, rejecting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40 and has great deal of working experience is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40 may work slower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
colleagues, the older co-workers have more experience in their field.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more medical conditions at the age of 40+,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
fairly
healthy at the age of 40 do exist.
Therefore
, employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
medically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision.

In conclusion
, it is no denying that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to hire workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
due to productivity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues, I reiterate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40 have more working experience than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
and solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
could be
constantly
checking older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a vital.
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IELTS essay It seems that people over forty are difficult to find a satisfactory job. What are the causes? Are there any possible solutions to this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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