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These days people are using internet for shopping

These days people are using internet for shopping PLNKd
As technology has grown significantly so, with the help of it nowadays, without going anywhere masses are attending business meetings, buying stuff and talking with their loved ones over the phone by using Internet. While some people has claimed that it is a good thing as it will help to reserve useful resources. Whilst, others upbraid that it has an overwhelmingly detrimental impact as excessive use of Internet can damage the brain. On the positive side, as the rapid growth of transports the air pollution is rising and such things can easily be dodged by working from home. As a result, it will not only help to reduce the traffic congestion but also improve the air quality for breathing and thus the chances of getting cancer and other related disease will fall down. Another key point is, fuel prices these days are touching the sky so at times it does not depict a great notion to meet someone who lives far away hence, with the help of high quality video calling applications human beings are able to experience like they are sitting in front and talking with each other, this not only avoid the unnecessary money they spent in fuelling tanks but also saves a lot of their precious time. However, on the downside of this, individuals will procure this lifestyle and they will soon start feeling that they have been home bounded not by anyone but by themselves only, also this will turn to another level as individuals can attain bad characteristics. For example, they will stop interacting face-to-face with other peers. In conclusion, although people are using Internet over excessively which possesses some drawbacks but benefits are far more
As technology has grown
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of it nowadays, without going anywhere masses are attending business meetings, buying stuff and talking with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones over the phone by using Internet. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
claimed that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing as it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to reserve useful resources. Whilst, others upbraid that it has an
overwhelmingly
detrimental impact as excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Internet can damage the brain.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, as the rapid growth of transports the air pollution is rising and such things can
easily
be dodged
by working from home.
As a result
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic congestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the air quality for breathing and
thus
the chances of getting cancer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related disease will fall down.

Another key point is, fuel prices these days are touching the sky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at times it does not depict a great notion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
someone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
far away
hence
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of high quality video calling applications human beings are able to experience like they are sitting in front and talking with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
avoid the unnecessary money they spent in fuelling tanks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their precious time.

However
, on the downside of this, individuals will procure this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
feeling that they have been home bounded not by anyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
also
this will turn to another level as individuals can attain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
characteristics.
For example
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
interacting face-to-face with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
peers.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using Internet over
excessively
which possesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
benefits are far more

IELTS essay These days people are using internet for shopping

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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