Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Is it a positive or negative development?

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Is it a positive or negative development? 96WoW
In many countries, junk food is more ubiquitious with people on account of its affordable price. From my point of view, it is a negative development and I will point out its disadvantages below. First of all, it is cannot deny that fast food leads to many health problems such as obesity, diabetes, . . since every popular junk food like hamburger, fried chicken, pizza are all made from unhealthy ingredients. However, because of its scrumptious flavour, there are more and more people, especially children who are keen on and even addicted to those foods. Gradually, those children would be unable to limit fast food, which could have a negative influence on their health later. Futhermore, junk food contains a huge amount of fatty substance, which would make them be unfit so if people eat it day by day, it could easily cause obesity. Since then, those people would be under pressure of body shaming, which could make them depressed about their appearance. In addition, due to the popularity of junk food, more and more people are depending on it excessively. For instance, when family and friends have a party, they often prefer dining out to cooking at home by themself because of its convenience. Step by step, they would not have a chance to cook regularly and it is also the reason why more and more young people are lack of cooking skill. To sum up, in my opinion, the available of fast food is not a welcome development due to its drawbacks like leading to many health issues, make people stressed.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
ubiquitious
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on account of its affordable price. From my point of view, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development and I will point out its disadvantages below.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is cannot deny that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as obesity, diabetes
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
every popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like hamburger, fried chicken, pizza are all made from unhealthy ingredients.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its scrumptious
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
, there are more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
children who are keen on and even addicted to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Gradually
, those children would be unable to limit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on their health later.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains a huge amount of fatty substance, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them be unfit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat it day by day, it could
easily
cause obesity. Since then, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be under pressure of body shaming, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them depressed about their appearance.

In addition
, due to the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on it
excessively
.
For instance
, when family and friends have a party, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
prefer dining out to cooking at home by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience. Step by step, they would not have a chance to cook
regularly
and it is
also
the reason why more and more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lack of cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

To sum up, in my opinion,
The phrase 'the available of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the available of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not a welcome development due to its drawbacks like leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Is it a positive or negative development?