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It is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space

It is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space jokJw
Nowadays, a wide range of researchers are exploring unknown places in the galaxy in order to figure out vital datas about the existence of life there. Some groups of people suppose that it is unnecessary as there is an ample of problems in our planet. Other group of opponents believe that is an improvement of humanity. The latter belief seems to me justifiable owing to many reasons that will be discussed in the further paragraphs below. Firstly, there are a plenty of arguments of individuals who think that spacial researches are not important. Precisely, humanity still has challenges in fields of education, recycling, modernization, products and etc. that require an immense of money. That’s why they argue that moneys should be given to so-called spheres rather than cosmic rockets that are at risk of attaining nothing at least. As an example, one of the prominent cosmic companies NASA spends a massive moneys in aim to explore a paltry information about the planet Mars paying for equipments, rocket, cosmonaut and so on. Thus, money should be given to the current vital fields as the thought of many people. On the other hand, celestial datas might be a boon in many cases. To be more accurate, from our history of human being, astronomy has been studied and still has been studying as an indispensable subject. Many scientists spent their whole life for exploring the heaven, the stars and other celestial objects in order to calculate their days, weeks and eventually years. Hence, the current immense studies of space play an important role in the further development of mankind. To cite, Elon Mask an owner of two of the the biggest and well-known companies called ‘Tesla’ and ‘SpaceX’ where he and his team try to find out small details about facts of life existence in Mars wants to construct a Solar City there. That can help with overpopulation in our planet. Another good aspect of cosmic researches is preventing hits of meteors to the Earth. But for that studies we partially live safety. To conclude, many people think that spacial studies are non essential when there are not solved problems in other spheres. Other individuals including me stand by the idea of continuing and developing of that researches as they help to mankind in many ways, however.
Nowadays, a wide range of researchers are exploring unknown places in the galaxy in order to figure out vital
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
about the existence of life there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that it is unnecessary as there is
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
problems in our planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
group of opponents believe
that is
an improvement of humanity. The latter belief seems to me justifiable owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that will
be discussed
in the
further
paragraphs below.

Firstly
, there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of arguments of individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spacial researches are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Precisely
, humanity
still
has challenges in fields of education, recycling, modernization, products
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. that require
The phrase 'an immense of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an immense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. That’s why they argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moneys
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called spheres
rather
than cosmic rockets that are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of attaining nothing at least. As an example, one of the prominent cosmic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
NASA spends a massive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "money"?
moneys
in aim to explore
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a paltry information
about the planet Mars paying for equipments, rocket, cosmonaut and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
vital fields as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, celestial
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
might be a boon in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases. To be more accurate, from our history of human being, astronomy has
been studied
and
still
has been studying as an indispensable subject.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists spent their whole life for exploring the heaven, the stars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
celestial objects in order to calculate their days, weeks and
eventually
years.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
immense studies of space play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
further
development of mankind. To cite, Elon Mask an owner of two of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
biggest and well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
called ‘Tesla’ and ‘SpaceX’ where he and his team try to find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about facts of life existence in Mars wants to construct a Solar City there. That can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with overpopulation in our planet. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
aspect of cosmic researches is preventing hits of meteors to the Earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for that studies we
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
safety.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spacial studies are
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non essential
when there are not solved problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
spheres.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
individuals including me stand by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of continuing and developing of that researches as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to mankind in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways,
however
.
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IELTS essay It is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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