Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

3. People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

3. People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. v. 2
Nowadays, most people think that if foreigners should adapt local customs and traditions when they come to the new location. I completely agree with this opinion. Newcomers must face difficulties if they do not conform to the norms of social behavior in this country. Firstly, it will become impossible for them to blend into the new environment. For example, if an entrepreneur who come to new country cannot get on well with local traditions, he is bound to be failure in his business. But if he can follow the customs and traditions in host country, he can start his business. Moreover, if newcomers do not understand the traditions and customs in host country, they can get local people become angry. In Singapore, if newcomers throw trash in the street and make it dirty, local people will get to hot tempered. There are many benefits of following local customs and traditions for foreigners when they come to a new country. One advantage is that local people will welcome when they feel newcomers are showing their respect for the local way of life. Meanwhile, if newcomers can follow the customs and traditions in the new country, they will quickly get on well with local people which make their life easy. Another benefit is the richness of experience which newbies will gain from enjoying local festivals or traditions. During festivals and national holidays, especially they will feel like they belong in their new country. In conclusion, I would say that it is essential for new residents to following the traditions and habits of local people in host community in order to integrate fully society.
Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if foreigners should adapt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
location. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Newcomers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face difficulties if they do not conform to the norms of social behavior in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, it will become impossible for them to blend into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment.
For example
, if an entrepreneur who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, he
is bound
to be failure in his business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if he can follow the customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
in host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his business.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
do not understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and customs in host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become angry. In Singapore, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
throw trash in the street and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it dirty,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hot tempered
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
for foreigners when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will welcome when they feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
are showing their respect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
way of life. Meanwhile, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newcomers
can follow the customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life easy. Another benefit is the richness of experience which newbies will gain from enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
festivals or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. During festivals and national holidays,
especially
they will feel like they belong in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
country.

In conclusion
, I would say that it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
residents to following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in host community in order to integrate
fully
society.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 3. People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts