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It is true that technology in recent years has changed the path that people communicate with each other. There are many ways that technology affects our relationships, and in my opinion this is not a beneficial development.

It is true that technology in recent years has changed the path that people communicate with each other. There are many ways that technology affects our relationships, and in my opinion this is not a beneficial development. GMdKj
These advancement have isolated people and discouraged real world interaction. People are lacking of confidence because their are addicted to social networking. It will decrease their self confidence to speak in public because they usually interact through devices not face to face communication. Advancement in science has minimize the barrier between countries, you can have friends from any part of the world on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. From example a man from UK can contact to man in China. People start making virtual relationships so deceiving online is common. Fraud is too easy people have fake profile as your are not interacting them in real life. In conclusion I think the disadvantages are more then advantages so one should must be very careful while making an online relationship. We have to aware that the actual interaction is more important to enhance the relationship. . There are many ways that technology affects our relationships, and in my opinion this is not a beneficial development. These advancement have isolated people and discouraged real world interaction. People are lacking of confidence because their are addicted to social networking. It will decrease their self confidence to speak in public because they usually interact through devices not face to face communication. Advancement in science has minimize the barrier between countries, you can have friends from any part of the world on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. From example a man from UK can contact to man in China. People start making virtual relationships so deceiving online is common. Fraud is too easy people have fake profile as your are not interacting them in real life. In conclusion I think the disadvantages are more then advantages so one should must be very careful while making an online relationship. We have to aware that the actual interaction is more important to enhance the relationship.
Did you mean "this advancement" or "These advancements"?
These advancement
have isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and discouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are lacking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "there"?
their
are addicted
to social networking. It will decrease their self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
to speak in public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
interact through devices not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
communication.

Advancement in science has
Use past participle here: "minimized".
minimize
the barrier between countries, you can have friends from any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. From example a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
from UK can contact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
in China.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deceiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is common. Fraud is too easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have fake profile as your are not interacting them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the disadvantages are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful while making an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
aware that the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways that technology affects our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
, and in my opinion this is not a beneficial development.

Did you mean "this advancement" or "These advancements"?
These advancement
have isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and discouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are lacking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "there"?
their
are addicted
to social networking. It will decrease their self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
to speak in public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
interact through devices not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
communication.

Advancement in science has
Use past participle here: "minimized".
minimize
the barrier between countries, you can have friends from any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. From example a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
from UK can contact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
in China.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deceiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is common. Fraud is too easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have fake profile as your are not interacting them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the disadvantages are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful while making an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
aware that the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
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IELTS essay It is true that technology in recent years has changed the path that people communicate with each other. There are many ways that technology affects our relationships, and in my opinion this is not a beneficial development.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • It is true that technology in recent years has changed the path that people communicate with each other. There are many ways that technology affects our relationships, and in my opinion this is not a beneficial development.