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It is supposed that life in the past didn’t use to be so good as it is now. What’s your opinion?

It is supposed that life in the past didn’t use to be so good as it is now. What’s your opinion? gqA37
There is a public debate that our modern life nowadays is much better than in the past. Personally, I totally agree with this idea. Almost people in the past had an uncomfortable life because of many reasons. To my way of thinking, people in the past had been faced with many discomfort things. First of all, they had to live in the time when the world war was happening. We all know that the world is woven from billions of lives, every strand crossing every other, but in that period of time, they couldn't have the basis of human life, most of them had to fight for their safety and some had been dead, and they lived in panic and danger day by day. Besides, education in the old society is terrible. For many generations before, women had not gone to school because they were stucked in gender prejudice, they had to do housework and they did not have a right to choose what they do for their future although they really talented, it made their dream to be hopeless. Moreover, even though men could go to school, the university or the high school was too far for most of them. Additionally, in the past, people had to live with a lot of preconceptions especially about women, LGBT, and Black lives matter, it made their life more difficult and based on what others say. They could not live their own life and do whatever they want without alluding and discriminating from others in spite of the fact that they are the victims. According to many books I had read before, I have no doubt with the opinion that our we were underdeveloped. To begin with, the infrastructure in the past was not good and in the countryside, they were not even had any school or hospital, which made their life was really difficult and unsafe. Apart from that, people in the past did not have enough electricity and water to use. Like the previous point, they had no machine which helps them to collect water or any equipment can do housework. As a result, they had collected water from the river but the water from there is not clear, and on the negative side, children had to do the same things like adults and it was really harmful to them, most of their bones were affected so they could not grow up normally. Likewise, they did not have the modern device as we now so they had to use letters if they want to talk with their family members when they live far from home. It does not stop there, people in the past had lacked many things in their minds. Vietnam has been passed hundred years of war and it strongly made Vietnamese’s thinking become more negative and foggy than now. In summary, life in the past used to be really bad, but fortunately, we were born in a period time of safety and peace. The quality of life has improved a lot from the past and I am full of hopefulness that we can do better in the future.
There is a public debate that our modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
nowadays is much better than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had an uncomfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

To my way of thinking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had
been faced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
discomfort things.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the time when the world war was happening. We all know that the world
is woven
from billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, every strand crossing every other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in that period of time, they couldn't have the basis of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, most of them had to fight for their safety and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
had been dead, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in panic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
day by day.
Besides
, education in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
society is terrible. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, women had not gone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were
Possible spelling mistake found.
stucked
in gender prejudice, they had to do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
housework and
they did not have a right to choose what they do for their future although they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
talented, it made their dream to be hopeless.
Moreover
,
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
could go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the university or the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was too far for most of them.
Additionally
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
preconceptions
especially
about women, LGBT, and Black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
matter, it made their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more difficult and based on what others say. They could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and do whatever they want without alluding and discriminating from others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that they are the victims.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books I had read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, I have no doubt with the opinion that our we
were underdeveloped
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the infrastructure in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and in the countryside, they were not even had any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or hospital, which made their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
difficult and unsafe. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
electricity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Like the previous point, they had no machine which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
or any equipment can do housework.
As a result
, they had collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from the river
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from there is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, and on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, children had to do the same things
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
adults and it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
harmful to them, most of their bones were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could not grow up
normally
.
Likewise
, they did not have the modern device as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
letters if they want to talk with their family members when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far from home. It does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
there,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had lacked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in their minds. Vietnam has
been passed
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
years of war and it
strongly
made Vietnamese’s thinking become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and foggy than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fortunately
, we
were born
in a period time of safety and peace. The quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot from the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
past and
I am full of hopefulness that we can do better in the future.
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IELTS essay It is supposed that life in the past didn’t use to be so good as it is now. What’s your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
521 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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