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It is seen in some countries that there is an upward trend in people who are suffering from health-related issues because of too much consumption of fast food

It is seen in some countries that there is an upward trend in people who are suffering from health-related issues because of too much consumption of fast food 5L6dN
It is seen in some countries that there is an upward trend in people who are suffering from health-related issues because of too much consumption of fast food, it is seen as necessary by the government to implement a higher tax on fast food. I completely agree that this is the best way to tackle this problem of ever-increasing health problems in the population. Firstly, a higher tax on fast food will lead to higher pricing overall for the food, and this might persuade some people to not opt for it and go for some other cheaper and healthier option. Less number of people will consume fast food and because of this the fast food companies might be encouraged to put some nutritious food and less expensive options on their menu as well. Coupons or combos can be provided on other healthier choices so that people eat them instead of eating the regular junk food. Secondly, with more tax coming in from restaurants and fast food places, it could be directed to a better place where it can be used to promote a healthier lifestyle. Open air gyms can be made better and advertisements to promote a better lifestyle could be aired on television. The general public can be made aware of the harmful effects of consuming fast foods so that they also stay away from them and take care of themselves much better. In conclusion, to deal with the rise in the number of health problems seen in people, levying a higher tax and promoting a healthier lifestyle is the most effective method available.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries that there is an upward trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from health-related issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of too much consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as necessary by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to implement a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is the best way to tackle this problem of ever-increasing health problems in the population.

Firstly
, a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will lead to higher pricing
overall
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, and this might persuade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not opt for it and go for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other cheaper and healthier option. Less number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
because of this
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
might
be encouraged
to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and less expensive options on their menu
as well
. Coupons or combos can
be provided
on other healthier choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat them
instead
of eating the regular junk food.

Secondly
, with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
coming in from restaurants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
places, it could
be directed
to a better place where it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to promote a healthier lifestyle. Open air gyms can
be made
better and advertisements to promote a better lifestyle could
be aired
on television. The
Consider using "public".
general public
can
be made
aware of the harmful effects of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
also
stay away from them and take care of themselves much better.

In conclusion
, to deal with the rise in the number of health problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, levying a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and promoting a healthier lifestyle is the most effective method available.
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IELTS essay It is seen in some countries that there is an upward trend in people who are suffering from health-related issues because of too much consumption of fast food

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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