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it is said that the use of cell phones among students should be banned at school . What's your opinion ?

it is said that the use of cell phones among students should be banned at school. What's your opinion? EdW8x
The problem of using cell phones at school by secondary students makes many teachers and parents are concerned about. Although this use is completely legal for students with the permission of the teacher and the school, I myself agree with this opinion. If in a large class of students, sometimes up to 50 students, it is almost impossible for a teacher to manage what information they see on a smartphone with a 45-minute lesson. Because, with just a flick of a finger, the screen immediately switches to another content. The saying, "First devil, second ghost, third student" is always true in such situations. Moreover, teachers can't both teach and manage what their dozens of students are watching on their phones. This will cause distraction for the whole class and the lecture will be difficult to complete. Many parents frankly expressed their views, disagreeing with students using phones during school hours. If it's just to look up knowledge, the school can use projectors and computers in dedicated rooms. Or you can look up at the end of class time. If it's just to contact parents, you can use the school's phone or outside of class time. Special cases also exist, but rarely occur. Finally, no one can deny the benefit of cell phones. However, besides those advantages, if not strictly controlled, there will be unpredictable consequences. The first harm to health that can be seen very clearly when watching a cell phone is that it causes rapid vision loss, especially for children, the harm is unpredictable.
The problem of using cell
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phones
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and parents
are concerned
about. Although this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is completely legal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the permission of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I myself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. If in a large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of
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students
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
up to 50
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students
, it is almost impossible for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to manage what information they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on a smartphone with a 45-minute lesson.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a flick of a finger, the screen immediately switches to another content. The saying,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
First
devil, second ghost, third student
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is always true in such situations.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can't both teach and manage what their dozens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are watching on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This will cause distraction for the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and the lecture will be difficult to complete.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents
frankly
expressed their views, disagreeing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours. If it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to look up knowledge, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
projectors and computers in dedicated rooms. Or you can look up at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "times"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'time' is not always incorrect.)
time
. If it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to contact parents, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the school's
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phone
or outside of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
time. Special cases
also
exist,
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but
rarely occur.
Finally
, no one can deny the benefit of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
However
,
besides
those advantages, if not
strictly
controlled, there will be unpredictable consequences. The
first
harm to health that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
when watching a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is that it causes rapid vision loss,
especially
for children, the harm is unpredictable.
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IELTS essay it is said that the use of cell phones among students should be banned at school. What's your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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