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It is a very good idea for students to take a gap year before starting university. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a very good idea for students to take a gap year before starting university. KyOR6
In the past few years, a lot of students have chosen to take a gap year before going to university. A majority have stated that this is a brilliant idea for juniors to take a gap year before going to university. In my perspective, I agree with the opinion because I believe that this is a wonderful opportunity for pre - college students to experience new things besides studying. To start with, as juniors have decided to take a break from school, they would have the chance to work for companies or organizations to gain more experiences as well as to make their own money. As a result, they could observe more knowledge and life skills such as presentation, collaboration, . . . , which would be beneficial for them in school and at work. Another advantage for the students is that since they have had a background in the major, they could get the job easier after graduation. Aside from gaining experience in working, the scholar would also have the chance to participate in doing social work, like doing charity or planting trees. Consequently, they would be able to make small changes in the community. For instance, by volunteering to help poor people, they could help those people to be happier and have better living conditions. In conclusion, I think pre-college students should take a gap year to experience and learn more things around them. However, they should focus on not only their work, but also their study as well, so that they could have a bright future.
In the past few years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have chosen to take a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to university. A majority have stated that this is a brilliant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for juniors to take a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to university. In my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that this is a wonderful opportunity for
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
new things
besides
studying.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, as juniors have decided to take a break from school, they would have the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or organizations to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money.
As a result
, they could observe more knowledge and life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as presentation, collaboration
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which would be beneficial for them in school and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Another advantage for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that since they have had a background in the major, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job easier after graduation.

Aside from gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in working, the scholar would
also
have the chance to participate in doing social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, like doing charity or planting trees.
Consequently
, they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the community.
For instance
, by volunteering to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be happier and have better living conditions.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
pre-college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and learn more things around them.
However
, they should focus on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their study
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could have a bright future.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is a very good idea for students to take a gap year before starting university.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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