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It is said that people working in entertainment like actors, pop stars and sport players have extremely high wages. I disagree with this point of view and believe that those who are better than the others deserve higher income.

It is said that people working in entertainment like actors, pop stars and sport players have extremely high wages. I disagree with this point of view and believe that those who are better than the others deserve higher income. GJrG2
On one hand, most of the richest starts are more proficient at their work than other employees in the industry. Only most talented and word-known entertainers are rich while performers demonstrating medicore skills are not as well-paid. To illustrate, Lionel Messi, one of the greatest football player in history, demonstrates a superb performance on football pitches. Apart from using his inborn talent, the footballer constantly exercises to show world class skills that are not available for the regular players. The fact that such people are able to do what others cannot is the main reason why the industries are ready to pay them so much. On the other hand, many professions which are more important for society's welfare and wellbeing deserve to be paid more. Even though healthcare workers such as surgeons, nurses and therapists play an essential role in the population health, a great proportion of them earns less than an average salary level in some countries. Additionally, firefighters and police officers permanently protecting people's lives also do not have as high earnings as film stars and pop musicians' income. In conclusion, although a number of jobs should be paid more money, I still believe that the wages of the most of famous entertainers correspond to their skills and talent.
On one hand, most of the richest
starts
are more proficient at their work than other employees in the industry.
Only
most talented and word-known entertainers are rich while performers demonstrating
medicore
skills
are not
as well
-paid. To illustrate, Lionel Messi, one of the greatest football player in history, demonstrates a superb performance on football pitches. Apart from using his inborn talent, the footballer
constantly
exercises to
show
world
class
skills
that are not available for the regular players. The fact that such
people
are able to do what others cannot is the main reason why the industries are ready to pay them
so
much.

On the other hand
,
many
professions which are more
important
for society's welfare and
wellbeing
deserve to
be paid
more.
Even though
healthcare workers such as surgeons, nurses and therapists play an essential role in the population health, a great proportion of them earns less than an average salary level in
some
countries.
Additionally
, firefighters and police officers
permanently
protecting
people
's
lives
also
do not have as high earnings as film stars and pop musicians' income.

In conclusion
, although a number of jobs should
be paid
more money, I
still
believe that the wages of the most of
famous
entertainers correspond to their
skills
and talent.
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IELTS essay It is said that people working in entertainment like actors, pop stars and sport players have extremely high wages. I disagree with this point of view and believe that those who are better than the others deserve higher income.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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