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It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem? v.4

It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4
These days, as the human has stepped on the path to transcendence, people are competing to be better every day. As the time goes by, many of us are tend to be afflicted by stressful feeling. Actually, there are some reasons behind this problem. In this essay, I will explain the reasons why it can happen and try to propose some solutions to tackle this matter. As regard the first, the reason why people are having stressful life is because of their lifestyle. Every individual tends to fulfil their need and desire. They earn money as much as they can and spent almost along the day for work. However, people only need a short time to spend their money for buying everything that they want. This phenomenon can cause stress among people. Secondly, stressfulness can happen because of the competitive ambience among each individual. People are competing to look perfect every time. In every facet of our life, people like to compete. For instance, they compete in jobs, study, finance, appearance, and on the other aspects of our life. However, the fact is not all the people are able to fulfil their need as their wish. Only the rich and wealthy people can do that. Therefore, it can raise stressfulness. These days people needs to outperform others in the study, job and in other social affairs and these are few of the main reasons for the increased stress and pressure among us. The technological advancement has made our life easier in one hand and at the same time, this is another reason for the pressured life for many. I think that there are so many impeccable solutions to cope this problem. Firstly, people have to manage their time and finance properly. They have to balance their personal and professional life and do not need to obtain everything that they want. People should look at the others who have a poorer life than us. They also should refresh their mind after spending the hectic stressful schedule by taking a walk to interesting places such as beach or mountain. Thus, people can feel free and relaxed. They should not think too much about earning money. In conclusion, positive life, satisfaction and balanced life can reduce the stress we have to a great extent. As competition is one of the main reasons for increased stress nowadays, we should not rival others in every aspect. The positive mentality and happy family bonding can help us achieving a life with less stress.
These days, as the human has stepped on the path to transcendence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are competing to be better every day. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
goes by,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to
be afflicted
by stressful feeling. Actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this problem. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why it can happen and try to propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to tackle this matter.

As regard the
first
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their lifestyle. Every individual tends to fulfil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
and desire. They earn money as much as they can and spent almost along the day for work.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend their money for buying everything that they want. This phenomenon can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressfulness
can happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competitive ambience among each individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are competing to look perfect every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In every facet of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to compete.
For instance
, they compete in jobs, study, finance, appearance, and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, the fact is not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to fulfil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
as their wish.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
the rich and wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do that.
Therefore
, it can raise
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressfulness
. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
to outperform others in the study, job and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social affairs and these are few of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and pressure among us. The technological advancement has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier in one hand and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, this is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for the pressured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impeccable solutions to cope this problem.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and finance
properly
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
balance their personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to obtain everything that they want.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should look at the others who have a poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than us. They
also
should refresh their mind after spending the hectic stressful schedule by taking a walk to interesting places such as beach or mountain.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can feel free and relaxed. They should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
too much about earning money.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, satisfaction and balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
a great extent. As competition is one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
nowadays, we should not rival others in every aspect. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mentality and happy family bonding can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
The verb 'family' is used with an infinitive: "to achieve" or "achieve".
achieving
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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