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People’s lives are becoming increasing stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to the technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.4

People’s lives are becoming increasing stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to the technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4
There is no doubt that the twentieth century has seen a technological revolution. However, the question: how can new advances affect our lives? Is one of controversial issues today. Although the online trade can have some drawbacks, I think this is a positive development. In this essay, I will explain my support for this argument. To begin with, I would argue that the globalization contributes to people's prosperity. This is because customers can easily know the latest fashion and purchase products online at relatively competitive prices. Moreover, clients do not need to leave their homes and travel to other countries for shopping. For instance, this is can be seen by the growing number of daily online trade transactions in Egypt as compared with traditional trade process. In contrast, if buyers did not depend on the internet in making their trade decisions, there would not be a communication between nations. Furthermore, I would think that the digital age can lead to cultural convergence. The reason for this is that the internet facilitates the communication between people in different countries. For example, Social media platforms and websites can be used to know the recent news and equipping internet users with sufficient knowledge in different fields. However, if people do not use such sophisticated appliances and machinery, they will probably face difficulties in their lives and there will be a gap between the developing and industrial countries. In conclusion, despite the fact that the computer age can have some difficulties, such as to threaten the user's privacy, it is my firm belief that cutting-edge technologies make people's lives relatively easier.
There is no doubt that the twentieth century has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a technological revolution.
However
, the question: how can new advances affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
? Is one of controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Although the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for this argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I would argue that the globalization contributes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's prosperity. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
customers can
easily
know the latest fashion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products online at
relatively
competitive prices.
Moreover
, clients do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their homes and travel to other countries for shopping.
For instance
, this is can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the growing number of daily online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
transactions in Egypt as compared with traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
process.
In contrast
, if buyers did not depend on the internet in making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
decisions, there would not be a communication between nations.

Furthermore
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the digital age can lead to cultural convergence.
The reason for this is
that the internet facilitates the communication between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
For example
, Social media platforms and websites can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to know the recent news and equipping internet users with sufficient knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such sophisticated appliances and machinery, they will
probably
face difficulties in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and there will be a gap between the developing and industrial countries.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that the computer age can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties, such as to threaten the user's privacy, it is my firm belief that cutting-edge technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
relatively
easier.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People’s lives are becoming increasing stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to the technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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