Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation oNPV
Many believe that extreme violence depicted in action movies today is responsible for increased crime rates in young adults. Although some people are of the opinion that such is not the case, I believe that this is mainly a consequence of the violence shown in movies. This essay also highlights parental supervision as a solution to curb this issue. The main reason behind this is too much action depicted in the media. Because they have online access to media, they are exposed to a variety of videos and games that are violent and can influence their impressionable minds. Not only that but they also convince them that imitating the violence would make them a hero, as depicted in the movies. This ultimately leads them to indulge in dangerous crimes that could possibly land them in trouble with the law. For example, a survey conducted by the Juvenile Crime Department revealed that 40% of the children were motivated by the violence depicted in movies and games they played. A significant solution to this problem would be parents supervising and limiting their children from watching violent content, whether it is movies or games. They should explain and educate them about the consequences of indulging in aggressive acts. They should be made aware of the fact that not only are these movies fictitious but they are also not a good influence on their psychology. It has been observed that youngsters who are educated about the negative influence of action movies are twice as likely to not indulge in violence or criminal behaviour. To conclude, I believe that violence depicted in movies can be held responsible for increased juvenile crime rates and a possible solution to this problem would be parents supervising the movies children watch and educating them about the consequences of indulging in violence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
depicted
in action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is responsible for increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates in young adults. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that such is not the case, I believe that this is
mainly
a consequence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
shown in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. This essay
also
highlights parental supervision as a solution to curb this issue.

The main reason behind this is too much action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
depicted
in the media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have online access to media, they
are exposed
to a variety of videos and games that are violent and can influence their impressionable minds. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
convince them that imitating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a hero, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
depicted
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. This
ultimately
leads them to indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that could
possibly
land them in trouble with the law.
For example
, a survey conducted by the Juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
Department revealed that 40% of the children
were motivated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
depicted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and games they played.

A significant solution to this problem would be parents supervising and limiting their children from watching violent content, whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or games. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and educate them about the consequences of indulging in aggressive acts. They should
be made
aware of the fact that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
fictitious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence on their psychology. It has
been observed
that youngsters who
are educated
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence of action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are twice as likely to not indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
or criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
depicted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
be held
responsible for increased juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates and a possible solution to this problem would be parents supervising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and educating them about the consequences of indulging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts