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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this? Nbqd
At present, money is of great importance and is a necessity for people to buy whatever they want, even luxury bags and clothes, sports cars, and jewelries; hence, money management ability is becoming more important. Concerns arise when many high school graduates fail to manage their money well. The main reason of this problem might be the lack of education on money management as they grow. To be more specific, the absence of financial education can be found both at home and school. In many households, it is common that parents focus mostly on academic achievements and moral cultivation of their children but neglect the significance of other qualities and abilities for the reason that a promising future can be guaranteed by good achievements and morality. Schools are the second place where children spend most of their time; however, there is no sight/trace of financial education for them to learn how to manage their money. Therefore, we cannot expect these children have their money managed overnight. How can this trend be changed and improved? First of all, children should be taught to keep a detailed record of their incomes and expenses every single month. This is a good way to help them understand prices in the market and the virtue of frugality, and then encourage them to re-think their purchase desire when they want to have unnecessary expenditure. Also, a personal money record can help them understand their financial status and develop their ability of planning ahead to avoid potential financial deficit, an ability they will need throughout their life. In addition, adults at home or schools can provide youngsters with more guidance and opportunities to manage money, virtually or in real life, in order that they can develop a healthy consuming habit and even some financial management skills. For example, parents can set up rules with regard to how much money children can get if they do certain kinds of housework and grant more freedom to them to spend their money earned. Once children understand the difficulty of making money, they would know it would be wise if they buy things after more consideration. At school, real-world simulation contests can be held to encourage students to manipulate their virtual currency to complete transactions or investments. In this way, they can learn more knowledge of the monetary society and improve their financial management ability.
At present,
money
is of great importance and is a necessity for
people
to
buy
whatever they want, even luxury bags and clothes, sports cars, and jewelries;
hence
,
money
management
ability
is becoming more
important
. Concerns arise when
many
high
school
graduates fail to manage their
money
well. The main reason of this problem might be the lack of education on
money
management
as they grow.

To be more specific, the absence of
financial
education can
be found
both at home and
school
. In
many
households, it is common that parents focus
mostly
on academic achievements and moral cultivation of their
children
but
neglect the significance of other qualities and
abilities
for the reason that a promising future can
be guaranteed
by
good
achievements and morality.
Schools
are the second place where
children
spend most of their time;
however
, there is no sight/trace of
financial
education for them to learn how to manage their
money
.
Therefore
, we cannot
expect
these
children
have their
money
managed overnight.

How can this trend be
changed
and
improved
?
First of all
,
children
should
be taught
to
keep
a detailed record of their incomes and expenses every single month. This is a
good
way to
help
them understand prices in the market and the virtue of frugality, and then encourage them to re-
think
their
purchase
desire when they want to have unnecessary expenditure.
Also
, a personal
money
record can
help
them understand their
financial
status and develop their
ability
of planning ahead to avoid potential
financial
deficit, an
ability
they will need throughout their life.

In addition
, adults at home or
schools
can provide youngsters with more guidance and opportunities to manage
money
,
virtually
or in real life, in order that they can develop a healthy consuming habit and even
some
financial
management
skills
.
For example
, parents can set up
rules
with regard to how much
money
children
can
get
if they do certain kinds of housework and grant more freedom to them to spend their
money
earned. Once
children
understand the difficulty of making
money
, they would know it would be wise if they
buy
things after more consideration. At
school
, real-world simulation contests can
be held
to encourage students to manipulate their virtual currency to complete transactions or investments. In this way, they can learn more knowledge of the monetary society and
improve
their
financial
management
ability
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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