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Government is spending money on improving roads and highways. However, NGOs propose that the government should improve public transportation such as buses, trains and subways instead of concreting roads. Which do you prefer more?

Government is spending money on improving roads and highways. However, NGOs propose that the government should improve public transportation such as buses, trains and subways instead of concreting roads. Which do you prefer more? qJ7E
One major allotment of government funds is for the modernization of roads and highways. Though arguably this will benefit the community as a whole, I support the idea recommended by non-government organizations that paying more attention in the improvement of public transportation is more preferable. First, investing in the improvement of public transportation will be a money generating revenue for the government. The authority can impose higher fares to compensate for the spending and generate an income which can be used to fund other projects or for the maintenance of the machineries. In addition, improving public transportation promotes lesser carbon footprint from the country because if citizens will be comfortable in using the improved buses or trains, they will reduce the use of their personal vehicles. This leads to less carbon emission and helps in making the nation to be ecological and environmental friendly. Furthermore, the use of improved public transportation such as buses, metro rail, and underground trains is convenient for the passengers. In first world countries like Singapore and New Zealand, they programmed an app which can locate the incoming trains or buses and their estimated time of arrival or if there is a delay, in this way the commuters will have a thought of how long it takes for them to arrive at their destination which assures efficiency for the travellers. In conclusion, the projects of the government to improve the roads and highways though recommended, I am of a view that improving public transportation is more preferable and beneficial to the community in general.
One major allotment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds is for the modernization of roads and highways. Though
arguably
this will benefit the community as a whole, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
recommended by non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations that paying more attention in the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is more preferable.

First
, investing in the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
will be a money generating revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The authority can impose higher fares to compensate for the spending and generate an income which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to fund other projects or for the maintenance of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
.

In addition
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
promotes lesser carbon footprint from the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if citizens will be comfortable in using the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
buses or trains, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their personal vehicles. This leads to less carbon emission and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in making the nation to be ecological and environmental friendly.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
such as buses, metro rail, and underground trains is convenient for the passengers. In
first
world countries like Singapore and New Zealand, they programmed an app which can locate the incoming trains or buses and their estimated time of arrival or if there is a delay, in this way the commuters will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of how long it takes for them to arrive at their destination which assures efficiency for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.

In conclusion
, the projects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the roads and highways though recommended, I am of a view that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is more preferable and beneficial to the community
in general
.
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IELTS essay Government is spending money on improving roads and highways. However, NGOs propose that the government should improve public transportation such as buses, trains and subways instead of concreting roads. Which do you prefer more?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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