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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree taht this is the main cause of juvenile crime? WHat solutions can you offer to deal with this situation.

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree taht this is the main cause of juvenile crime? WHat solutions can you offer to deal with this situation. PVWkB
It could be true that the growing cases of young-adulthood crime are reflected by external sources, such as television. However, in my view, those media have nothing to do with the number of incidents associated with teenagers. To begin with, I believe that media that contains violence is not the sole factor of the number of infantile crimes, much less it has little connection with it. Specifically, the major elements that might significantly impact on incidents related to teenagers are environment in which they were brought up and peers. First, the condition of surrounding may be a decisive factor. According to the research, it has been revealed that children brought up in lousy environment have tendency to become belligerent towards parents and others, which consequently leads to a high possibility of their crime commitment one they grow up. Another significant factor that contributes to the infantile crimes is their peers. Typically, in young-adulthood, which is the era teenagers are easily influenced by others, everyone has numerous problems as to their appearance, grades, and so on. In spite of this fact, these problems are unlikely to be understood by parents. Therefore, those teenagers rely on each other, and share their anxieties. If things go in a good way, they help out each other. Yet, this might not be the case, as those teenagers end up misunderstanding their root of the concerns is society. They might eventually be engaged in illegal activity, and get arrested. In order to reduce the number of crimes associated with those teenagers, I believe the solution lies in us. As a matter of fact, we might put too much pressure on them and set high expectations solely for our sake, which heavily rely on them to make society better than right now. Another reason is that we might regulate them strictly and restrict what they can do. In my high school life, I often thought teenagers are unnecessarily constrained by a number of regulations. These might be set in order to reduce the possible incidents they would cause; however, this result in a counterproductive way. Therefore, solutions are not to set absurdly high expectation to those teenagers, and abolishing some regulations that are regarded as too strict for them. In conclusion, from my perspective, media does not majorly influence on the crimes rate of teenagers. In fact, other factors, such as environment and peers has a deep connection with it; additionally, to solve these problems, I believe that adults have to take an immediate action.
It could be true that the growing cases of young-adulthood
crime
are reflected
by external sources, such as television.
However
, in my view, those media have nothing to do with the
number
of incidents associated with
teenagers
.

To
begin
with, I believe that media that contains violence is not the sole
factor
of the
number
of infantile
crimes
, much less it has
little
connection with it.
Specifically
, the major elements that
might
significantly
impact on incidents related to
teenagers
are environment in which they
were brought
up and peers.
First
, the condition of surrounding may be a decisive
factor
. According to the research, it has
been revealed
that children brought up in lousy environment have tendency to become belligerent towards parents
and others
, which
consequently
leads to a
high
possibility of their
crime
commitment one they grow up. Another significant
factor
that contributes to the infantile
crimes
is their peers.
Typically
, in young-adulthood, which is the era
teenagers
are
easily
influenced by others, everyone has numerous problems as to their appearance, grades, and
so
on.
In spite of
this fact, these problems are unlikely to
be understood
by parents.
Therefore
, those
teenagers
rely on each
other
, and share their anxieties. If things go in a
good
way, they
help
out each
other
.
Yet
, this
might
not be the case, as those
teenagers
end
up misunderstanding their root of the concerns is society. They
might
eventually
be engaged
in illegal activity, and
get
arrested.

In order to
reduce
the
number
of
crimes
associated with those
teenagers
, I believe the solution lies in us. As a matter of fact, we
might
put too much pressure on them and set
high
expectations
solely
for our sake, which
heavily
rely on them to
make
society better than right
now
. Another reason is that we
might
regulate them
strictly
and restrict what they can do. In my
high
school life, I
often
thought
teenagers
are
unnecessarily
constrained by a
number
of regulations. These
might
be set
in order to
reduce
the possible incidents they would cause;
however
, this result
in a counterproductive way
.
Therefore
, solutions are not to set
absurdly
high
expectation to those
teenagers
, and abolishing
some
regulations that
are regarded
as too strict for them.

In conclusion
, from my perspective, media does not
majorly
influence on the
crimes
rate of
teenagers
. In fact,
other
factors
, such as environment and peers has a deep connection with it;
additionally
, to solve these problems, I believe that adults
have to
take an immediate action.
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IELTS essay It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree taht this is the main cause of juvenile crime? WHat solutions can you offer to deal with this situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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