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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife while there are other problems that are more important Do you agree or disagree v.11

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife while there are other problems that are more important v. 11
There is no doubt that wildlife is a necessary part of human life on which we all are dependent. While some people believe that wildlife protection needs good funding and prior attention from government, but I completely agree that there are other essential issues exist, having precedence, and they require more money than wildlife projects. Firstly, Global warming is one of the most crucial, dangerous issues all over the world that requires more funding and attention from the national governments. Climate change has been occurring that is affecting human and animal life throughout the earth. For instance, glaciers in Antarctica have been started melting and scientists are wary that it will increase water level in coming years and, will possess a great threat to regions near to oceans. If activities causing global warming not stop, environment conditions will jeopardize and earth will become a heat chamber, therefore, human life will be under a severe danger. Another global issue to be consider on priority is water pollution caused due to plastic and waste disposal into the sea. Many industries and medical institutions are disposing their waste into rivers and sea, which is causing huge danger to sea life. To illustrate this, many endangered sea species such as dolphins, whales are dying nowadays, due to the contamination of water in the ocean. If sea life is not protected, we will have more extinct and endangered water species. As a result, government will have to provide huge funding for protection of such animals in the future. In my opinion, although, wildlife projects are very important in order to save the endangered plants and animals but, global warming and water pollution are the main problems that are impacting earth tremendously, and they require more priority and money from the governments.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is a necessary part of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on which we all are dependent. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
protection needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
funding and prior attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are other essential issues exist, having precedence, and they require more money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
projects.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
warming is one of the most crucial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
issues all over the world that requires more funding and attention from the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has been occurring
that is
affecting human and animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
throughout the earth.
For instance
, glaciers in Antarctica have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
melting and scientists are wary that it will increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
level in coming years and, will possess a great threat to regions near to oceans. If activities causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
, environment conditions will jeopardize and earth will become a heat chamber,
therefore
, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be under a severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
issue to be
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
on priority is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution caused due to plastic and waste disposal into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industries and medical institutions are disposing their waste into rivers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
, which is causing huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
species such as dolphins, whales are dying nowadays, due to the contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the ocean. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not protected, we will have more extinct and endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
species.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide huge funding for protection of such animals in the future.

In my opinion, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
projects are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to save the endangered plants and animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution are the main problems that are impacting earth
tremendously
, and they require more priority and money from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife while there are other problems that are more important v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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