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Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.5

Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 5
Business is a major that people employ various techniques to reach their goals. Experts have studied different aspects of businesses to understand the key elements of success in this trend. While some people believe that it is a good idea to have fixed employees for their entire lives, others hold the opposite standpoint, and think by hiring new employees more prosperity can be obtained. As far as I am concerned, changing the staff member is one of the best way to achieve success. What follows will shed light on my point of view. The first demerit is that the growth of profits will be influenced by the performance of employees in following years. Since, the security of job is very high, the staff will not work as efficient as possible to help the outcome of their job. Not working efficiently causes the members to lose their motivations to provide innovative ideas. After a while, the productivity decreases. Under this condition, after a few years, if such a business fails, whole members will reach the point where no remedies are able to reverse the situation. The second disadvantage is related to new potentials that are graduated from universities. Because they do not have enough hope to find their ideal job, the young will not pursue their studies in this field. As a result, talented ones will be attracted by other majors. This course is not a positive aspect in any societies, because of the impact of business in the annual income of countries. Most of the country’s budgets are come from commerce, importing and exporting products. Different skills and abilities can make a business successful. Creative students are good candidates for the future. If the employees are hired for their entire lives, they will not earn enough experience to help the community. To achieve prosperity, changing staff members is crucial. In conclusion, according to the mentioned disadvantages of hiring fixed employees, it is quite right to conclude that this approach is not effective in business. It can decrease the performance, profit, and productivity. Also, the young individuals will not be encouraged to choose this field as their future job, and businesses will turn into a mal-condition. In my opinion, variety is the spice of life. By working in different companies, individuals can obtain valuable experience which is beneficial not only for their own records but also for businesses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
is a major that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
employ various techniques to reach their goals. Experts have studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to understand the key elements of success in this trend. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, others hold the opposite standpoint, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by hiring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
more prosperity can
be obtained
. As far as I
am concerned
, changing the staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
is one of the best way to achieve success. What follows will shed light on my point of view.

The
first
demerit is that the growth of profits will
be influenced
by the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in following years. Since, the security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high, the staff will not work as efficient as possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the outcome of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Not working
efficiently
causes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to lose their motivations to provide innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. After a while, the productivity decreases. Under this condition, after a few years, if such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
fails, whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
will reach the point where no remedies are able to reverse the situation.

The second disadvantage
is related
to new potentials that
are graduated
from universities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hope to find their ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the young will not pursue their studies in this field.
As a result
, talented ones will
be attracted
by other majors. This course is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect in any societies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in the annual income of countries. Most of the country’s budgets are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from commerce, importing and exporting products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
successful. Creative students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
candidates for the future. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are hired
for their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they will not earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community. To achieve prosperity, changing staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is crucial.

In conclusion
, according to the mentioned disadvantages of hiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, it is quite right
to conclude
that this approach is not effective in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. It can decrease the performance, profit, and productivity.
Also
, the young individuals will not
be encouraged
to choose this field as their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will turn into a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mal-condition
. In my opinion, variety is the spice of life. By working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, individuals can obtain valuable experience which is beneficial not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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