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It is often said, "Money is not everything, but everything is bought with money." What do you think about this saying?

It is often said, "Money is not everything, but everything is bought with money. " What do you think about this saying? XDQnP
Nowadays, all of people are working hard day by day to make money. Money are a paper but there are so much power for human and it is often said: " Money is not everything, but everything is bought with money". It is true because the money can buy all things you need and want as food, water, house, bills or pay for your hobbies. If you don't have money, make a lot of money because only money can make your family full, children study well and there are lots of things you can buy with money. But something is couldn't buy with money as the love of parents for their children, or the health. Many parents day by day busy with their job and forgot that their child need their parent to be loved or they worked so hard that when they got sick, the money they made paid for the hospital, but it's not sure they can get well again. So, no matter how hard it is to earn money or how busy you are, pay attention to your children and your family and pay attention to your health, enjoy life
Nowadays, all of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day by day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
a paper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much power for human and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is not everything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
with money
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. It is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all things you need and want as food, water,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, bills or pay for your hobbies. If you don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your family full, children study well and there are lots of things you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
something is couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of parents for their children, or the health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents day by day busy with their job and forgot that their child need their parent to be
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
loved or
they worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
that when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sick, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they made paid for the hospital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's not sure they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
it is to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or how busy you are, pay attention to your children and your family and pay attention to your health, enjoy life
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IELTS essay It is often said, "Money is not everything, but everything is bought with money. " What do you think about this saying?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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