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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? pwK2
It is suggested that novelty in life is crucial than leading a monotonous and boring ways of life. While there are obvious problems resulting from such initiative in life, I am of the opinion that they are largely outweighed by the benefits. The first drawback of making a change in one’s life is associated with finance. Implementing changes, such as decorating the house with new wallpapers, changing design of one’s house, or renewing their clothes and equipment in the home, involves huge sums of money. For this reason, these changes seem like expensive irrelevances. In addition, a person trying to change the way they live needs to sacrifice their other most important resource: time. Take, for example, buying new furniture for one’s kitchen; customers would have to take measurements, decide on the suitable color, and discuss it with other members of the family, which consumes a large amount of time. However, if we look at the significant benefits of implementing changes in one’s life, the disadvantages seem negligible. Trying is better always better than regretting. So, just imagining a person is trying to give up smoking and take up exercising, bodybuilding, or any physical activity, is enough to think of benefits to their health to a large extent, even though this change is costly. There is also the added benefit of improved self-esteem and confidence in a person who is physically fit and is wearing a new set of clothes. Most importantly, if a person is trying to make change in their life by building a family, with the intention of raising children who will benefit the society in the long run, will it still be a disadvantage? In my opinion, overall, the objective of making changes in life by adopting a healthier lifestyle and starting a family is far more significant than arguable disadvantages of this change, which are time and money.
It
is suggested
that novelty in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Use "(crucial)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
crucial
than leading a monotonous and boring ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While there are obvious problems resulting from such initiative in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I am of the opinion that they are
largely
outweighed by the benefits.

The
first
drawback of making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is associated
with finance. Implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, such as decorating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with new wallpapers, changing design of one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, or renewing their clothes and equipment in the home, involves huge sums of money.
For this reason
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
seem like expensive irrelevances.
In addition
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
needs to sacrifice their other most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
resource: time. Take,
for example
, buying new furniture for one’s kitchen; customers would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take measurements, decide on the suitable color, and discuss it with other members of the family, which consumes a large amount of time.

However
, if we look at the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the disadvantages seem negligible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trying
is better always better than regretting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
imagining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to give up smoking and take up exercising, bodybuilding, or any physical activity, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to their health to a large extent,
even though
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is costly. There is
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
self-esteem and confidence in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is
physically
fit and is wearing a new set of clothes. Most
importantly
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by building a family, with the intention of raising children who will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the society in the long run, will it
still
be a disadvantage?

In my opinion,
overall
, the objective of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by adopting a healthier lifestyle and starting a family is far more significant than arguable disadvantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, which are time and money.
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IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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