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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? Oe7j
The one thing which is constant throughout our lives is change. While, a number of people think that transformation is really critical/essential/vital instead of being habitual. In this essay, I will shed light on both pros and cons and explain why I feel that change is necessary for humans. To begin with the positives, the most vital factor is that one can learn new things when adapting changes. For instance, recent survey shows that about 85% population of India changing their transaction routines to cashless with online facilities such as Net banking, Paytm, Google Pay, etc. Additionally, a person feel alive by learning new skills and trends, in this way person, become more knowledgeable and think out of the box. It helps to keep them up-to-date. For example, when grandparents learn to play video games with their grandchild, they revive the memories of their childhood which makes them happier. On the other hand, one of the major disadvantages of change is discomfort. Some people always wanted to be in their comfort zones owing to the fact that they fear losing their perspective. To exemplify, a plethora of people choose to have mobile phones of the same brand as they are habitual to use it and feel irritated with others. This happens because they have been using this for a long time. However, I think human beings have the ability to adapt changes and it may discomfort for some time but people can used to it very soon. In conclusion, it is more evident that there are more advantages of change like adapting and learning new things for betterment of personnel whereas it might comes with little discomfort but at the end the result will be fruitful. So, I think the benefits of changing outweigh the drawbacks.
The one thing which is constant throughout our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that transformation is
really
critical/essential/vital
instead
of being habitual. In this essay, I will shed light on both pros and cons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is necessary for humans.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, the most vital factor is that one can learn new things when adapting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
For instance
, recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that about 85% population of India changing their transaction routines to cashless with online facilities such as Net banking,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paytm
, Google Pay, etc.
Additionally
, a person feel alive by learning new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and trends, in this way person, become more knowledgeable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
out of the box. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them up-to-date.
For example
, when grandparents learn to play video games with their grandchild, they revive the memories of their childhood which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happier.

On the other hand
, one of the major disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is discomfort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always wanted to be in their comfort zones owing to the fact that they fear losing their perspective. To exemplify, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to have mobile phones of the same brand as they are habitual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and feel irritated with others. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have been using this for a long time.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
human beings have the ability to adapt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and it may discomfort for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

In conclusion
, it is more evident that there are more advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
like adapting and learning new things for betterment of personnel whereas it might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "come"
comes
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
discomfort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the result will be fruitful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the benefits of changing outweigh the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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