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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? mdw1
Transformation in every aspect is much-needed in current world. you can not remain same as years passing. Many people advocate that changing is good rather than living same lifestyle for long time, While there is clearly a drawback to this, I personally believe that benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of change is people can not stay in their comfort zones. They may lose their perspectives while varying. The reason for this is they may get habituated for living same with time. Therefore, it is not easy to adapt such alterations. for example, elder people can not easily accept new generation's living style. On other hand, one of the major advantage of change is it make a person alive. When people are changing themselves they come to know about various new things that they never experienced before. That all things makes them feel as new life everyday. For instance, when old people are playing video games with their grand children's they reliving their childhood again. In addition to that, a person who adopt modifications they becomes more knowledgeable and start thinking out of the box. the reason behind this is they will realize about many things and aspects they do not know earlier. They will start feeling good after seeing change in themselves. For example, today elders wants to welcome young generation's thoughts. By considering good aspects of living life they are changing themselves for better future. In conclusion, the benefits of changing is more than drawbacks. people can get experience about more new things while keep updated with time. only cons is they have to come out from their bars and boundaries. It is very essential to make change because it is nature of all god creations.
Transformation in every aspect is much-needed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
can not remain same as years passing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
same lifestyle for long time, While there is
clearly
a drawback to this, I
personally
believe that benefits are more significant.

The disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not stay in their comfort zones. They may lose their perspectives while varying.
The reason for this is
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
habituated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
same with time.
Therefore
, it is not easy to adapt such alterations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
easily
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
style.

On other hand, one of the major advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person alive. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
themselves they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things that they never experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. That all things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are playing video games with their grand children's
Did you mean "they're reliving", "they are reliving", or "they were reliving"?
they reliving
their childhood again.

In addition
to that, a person who adopt modifications they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "become"
becomes
more knowledgeable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking out of the box.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
reason behind this is they will realize about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and aspects they do not know earlier. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
after seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in themselves.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
elders wants to welcome young generation's thoughts. By considering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
life they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
themselves for better future.

In conclusion
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
is more than drawbacks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience about more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
updated with time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
only
cons is they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from their bars and boundaries. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is nature of all god creations.
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IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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