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It is observed that people these days spend large sums of money on clothes, hair care and other beauty products. Some people see it is as a necessary expenditure whereas other see it as wastage of money. Do you agree or disagree?

It is observed that people these days spend large sums of money on clothes, hair care and other beauty products. Some people see it is as a necessary expenditure whereas other see it as wastage of money. 70266
In modern society, most people have a concern about their appearance and how to get attentions from others. While some people argue that expending money on hair, clothes, beauty products and many more is justified, other thinks that there are alternative method to do it as well. This essay intends to dig in into both sides of the arguments in depth. However, I believe that spending excessive money on their looks is inappropriate.
In modern society, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a concern about their appearance and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attentions from others. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that expending money on hair, clothes, beauty products and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
is justified
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that there are alternative method to do it
as well
. This essay intends to dig in into both sides of the arguments in depth.
However
, I believe that spending excessive money on their looks is inappropriate.

IELTS essay It is observed that people these days spend large sums of money on clothes, hair care and other beauty products. Some people see it is as a necessary expenditure whereas other see it as wastage of money.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
73 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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