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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? RN5aY
As technology has developed, people can now travel to remote natural areas. While there are some advantages of this trend, I would argue that its disadvantages are more significant. On the one hand, visiting isolated natural places has some benefits. Firstly, this is a newer and more interesting type of travelling. Since going to other cities or countries has been too common for most people, it might be more exciting for them to explore new places such as the South Pole or the Amazon rainforest. This gives them valuable experiences and unforgettable memories. Secondly, when visiting remote areas, people, especially scientists, might acquire more knowledge about the natural habitat. For example, when coming to the North Pole, scientists can learn about the life of polar bears which live far away from humans. On the other hand, I believe there are great drawbacks of this development. The first one is that travelling to remote natural areas can be risky if the travellers are not sufficiently prepared. For instance, the temperature at the South Pole is usually very low, which adversely affects people's health. Travelling to forests can also be dangerous as people have to face the risk of being attacked by wild animals. Also, since visiting isolated places often requires a large amount of investment in researching and ensuring the safety of travellers, the costs of travelling tend to be high. Therefore, it seems like only scientists and rich people can afford this activity, and this development is likely to benefit only a small group of individuals. In conclusion, I believe the disadvantages of people being able to travel to remote areas outweigh its advantages, and this is a negative development.
As technology has developed,
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people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
areas. While

there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of this trend, I would argue that its disadvantages are more

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
significant
.

On the one hand, visiting isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
places has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
, this is a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
newer
and more interesting type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Since going to other cities or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
countries


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
has
been too common for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it might be more exciting for them to explore new places such as the South Pole or the Amazon rainforest. This gives them valuable experiences and unforgettable memories.
Secondly
, when visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
scientists, might acquire more knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat.
For example
, when coming to the North Pole, scientists can learn about the life of polar

bears which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from humans.

On the other hand
, I believe there are great drawbacks of this development. The
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
first


one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
areas can be risky if the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are not

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sufficiently
prepared.
For instance
, the temperature at the South Pole is
usually
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
very


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
low
, which
adversely
affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
to forests can
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being attacked
by wild animals.
Also
, since visiting isolated places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
requires a large amount of investment in researching and ensuring

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
safety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
tend to be high.
Therefore
, it seems like

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
only
scientists and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford this activity, and this development is likely to benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of individuals.

In conclusion
, I believe the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being able to travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
areas

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
outweigh
its advantages, and this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
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IELTS essay It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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