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consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do In recent years, many small local shops have closed because their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do In recent years, many small local shops have closed because their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? yXGpM
In recent times, the pattern of shopping amongst the community has drastically changed. The local shops are eradicated from the market and replaced by the large shopping centre in the public’s shopping preferences. As a change could bring both positive and opposite sides, which will discuss in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the mega-market is availing an innumerable range of products to the customers and elevating their standards of living. Plus, larger shopping centres are satisfying all the demands of the purchasers at a single destination. Such a dynamic method of business is not only satisfying its customers but also generating many employment opportunities. Moreover, the attractive discount offers are provoking many consumers and this proves that customers and shopkeeper both are benefited. For example, the mega plaza offers a variety of goods at discounted rates, hence the population are benefited by having more goods in their limited budget. Thus, a large market plays a vital role in improving the public lifestyle. On the other hand, the declining local shops are portraying many serious threats to society, like a weaker economy, unemployment and poverty. Although a shopping mall is tempting for buyers, the adverse effects are influencing the whole society as well as the mall culture has been promoting materialism to the crowd. For instance, many handicraft, small scale businesses of rural regions have been disappearing due to the mall culture and materialism. With the altering in shopping patterns, a detrimental effect on the domestic economy is presumed to ignite. In conclusion, an interference in term of characterizing the style of shopping has two faces which enhancing the community lifestyle and bring down one nation's budget. So the answer to the indicated question on this topic is it would be a benefit gain and a risk if we are determined to proceed.
In recent times, the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
amongst the community has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The local shops
are eradicated
from the market and replaced by the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in the public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
preferences. As a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
could bring both 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and opposite sides, which will discuss in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the mega-market is availing an innumerable range of products to the customers and elevating their standards of living. Plus, larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are satisfying all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
demands
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
purchasers
at a single destination. Such a dynamic method of business is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
satisfying its customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
generating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employment opportunities.
Moreover
, the attractive discount offers are provoking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consumers and this proves that customers and shopkeeper both
are benefited
.
For example
, the mega plaza offers a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at discounted rates,
hence
the population
are benefited
by having more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in their limited budget.
Thus
, a large market plays a vital role in improving the public lifestyle.

On the other hand
, the declining local shops are portraying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious threats to society, like a weaker economy, unemployment and poverty. Although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall is tempting for buyers, the adverse effects are influencing the whole society
as well
as the mall culture has been promoting materialism to the crowd.
For instance
,
Possible agreement error. The noun handicraft seems to be countable; consider using: "many handicrafts".
many handicraft
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale businesses of rural regions have been disappearing due to the mall culture and materialism. With the altering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
patterns, a detrimental effect on the domestic economy
is presumed
to ignite.

In conclusion
, an interference in term of characterizing the style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has two faces which enhancing the community lifestyle and bring down one nation's budget.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the answer to the indicated question on this topic is it would be a benefit gain and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
if we
are determined
to proceed.
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IELTS essay consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do In recent years, many small local shops have closed because their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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