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It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

It's no longer mandatory to travel to different regions to get to know other cultural varieties among people, instead, we can know about such cultures from books, movies, and the internet. Although the world is now globally connected through various websites and satellites, travelling is an irreplaceable experience. In my opinion, both approaches are equally interesting and useful, however, personal preferences vary. Despite some challenges, visiting distant places around the world could be very beneficial. Moreover, it gives people opportunities that would have been otherwise impossible if they had only stayed in one place. For instance, Forest Gump became one of the world's most successful businessmen because he wandered through many countries where he found so many chances. Therefore, it is not necessary to travel to other countries to learn about other cultures of other people. In contrast, travel could cost a lot of money and effort. Furthermore, globalisation made everything possible and knowing about any area in the world doesn't take much time, money or energy. For example, social media made it easy to watch the fashion week in Paris and it's even possible to virtually participate by giving feedbacks and sending comments. Consequently, it's possible to learn just as much about the world from books, films, and the internet. In conclusion, while it's believed that it's really essential to roam around different regions of the globe to get some knowledge about cultural variations, others think we can replace such a process with surfing the internet or reading some books. Indeed, it sounds a good idea to know more about other nations remotely, yet, the physical experience of landing on another nation is a totally exceptional feeling. From my perspective, flying to other lands might be as useful as reading a magazine or watching a movie about them and it's just a matter of taste.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
no longer mandatory to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultural varieties among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
instead
, we can know about such cultures from books, movies, and the internet. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
globally connected through various websites and satellites, travelling is an irreplaceable experience. In my opinion, both approaches are
equally
interesting and useful,
however
, personal preferences vary.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges, visiting distant places around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial.
Moreover
, it gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opportunities that would have been
otherwise
impossible if they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stayed in one place.
For instance
,
Did you mean the person “Forrest Gump”?
Forest Gump
became one of the world's most successful businessmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he wandered through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries where he found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances.
Therefore
, it is not necessary to travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In contrast
, travel could cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and effort.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘globalisation’ is British English.
globalisation
made everything possible and knowing about any area in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
doesn't take much time, money or energy.
For example
, social media made it easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the fashion week in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Paris and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
even possible to
virtually
participate by giving feedbacks and sending comments.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
possible to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as much about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
from books, films, and the internet.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
really
essential to roam around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions of the globe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge about cultural variations, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can replace such a process with surfing the internet or reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books.
Indeed
, it sounds a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations
remotely
,
yet
, the physical experience of landing on another nation is a
totally
exceptional feeling. From my perspective, flying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
lands might be as useful as reading a magazine or watching a movie about
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of taste.
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IELTS essay It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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