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People have different opinions about the most significant experiences a person can live; some think that what a child lives before starting school has a major impact on their behaviors, while others argue that the experiences each person lives as a teenager are the most influential ones.

People have different opinions about the most significant experiences a person can live; some think that what a child lives before starting school has a major impact on their behaviors, while others argue that the experiences each person lives as a teenager are the most influential ones. In this essay I am going to discuss both views, to conclude with my personal opinion about the topic. When we are children, we are extremely influential, especially by the people we live with, who are essential to our survival. Even if the memories coming from this short period of our life are rare, they have played a major role on our education, behaviors and personality. That is why a large number of people are convinced that our future depends on what we lived during our childhood. On the other hand, teenagers are well known to be very influential by other people, since in that moment of their life they are trying to build their own identity, ideas and personal values. If they are constantly faced with a specific environement with specific rules and beliefs, they will probably change their behaviors and keep them until they are adults. In my humble opinion, I share the second point of view, even if is known that the experiences we live during our first years of life play an important role on our personality. Despite this, I can see from my experience, that every thing I learnt at school from 11 to 19 years old, has modified my values, interests and lifestyle in a considerable way, giving the fact that they are quite different from the ones of my parents. In conclusion, I think that the teachings we learn during our teen years are the most influential ones, since we will probably keep them for the rest of our life, being near to the adult's life; but I also recognize that some of our behaviors and points of view strictly depends on what we lived during our childhood.
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People
have
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different
opinions about the most significant
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experiences
a person can
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live
;
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that what a child
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lives
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before
starting school has a major impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
, while others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
each person
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lives
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influential
ones.

In this essay I am going to discuss both views,
to conclude
with my personal opinion about the topic.

When we are children, we are
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influential
,
especially
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with, who are essential to our survival.

Even if the memories coming from this short period of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are rare, they have played a major role on our education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
and personality.
That is
why
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convinced
that our future depends on what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
during our childhood.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are well known to be
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very
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influential
by other
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people
, since
The usual collocation for “that moment” is “at”, not “in”. Did you mean “At that moment”?
in that moment
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they are trying to build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and personal values. If they are
constantly
faced with a specific
Possible spelling mistake found.
environement
with specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and beliefs, they will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them until they are adults.

In my humble opinion, I share the second point of view, even if
is known
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
during our
first
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role on our personality. Despite this, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, that every thing I
Possible spelling mistake. ‘learnt’ is British English.
learnt at
school from 11 to 19 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, has modified my values, interests and lifestyle in a considerable way, giving the fact that they are quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
of my parents.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the teachings we learn during our teen years are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, since we will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them for the rest of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, being near to the adult's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
recognize that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
and points of view
strictly
depends on what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
during our childhood.

IELTS essay People have different opinions about the most significant experiences a person can live; some think that what a child lives before starting school has a major impact on their behaviors, while others argue that the experiences each person lives as a teenager are the most influential ones.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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