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Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

No one can deny that take care about person experience is one of the critical things. So, some people think that child experience before he started the school is more important than a teenager experience in their future live. While others say the teenager experience is more impact then a child experience. In my essay, I will discuss all sides and I will write my personal conclusion at the end. On the one hand, there are multiple reasons that make people say a child experience is more important and has a huge impact in their future life. Firstly, a child before the school alway try to do what he see in his childhood live. For example, when a child see someone smoking, he will try to do this a bad behavior. So, that is why people think that a childhood is a most dangerous period of all person live duo to that has a significant impact in their future live. On the other hand, there are severals reasons which that make families believe a experience as a teenager is bigger important than a child experience. To illustrate, teenager boy especially at school always see a bad habits which that other students do it at school. For instance, if there any student drink alcohol in the school, the other students will try to drink it like him which that can causes a significant health problem. Hence the belief that the teenager period is very serious In conclusion, after a careful analysis of all points views, I believe that the childhood has big affect and influence in their future life, and we have consider about them.
No one can deny that take care about person
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experience
is one of the critical things.
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So
,
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some
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people
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think
that
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child
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experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the
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school
is more
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important
than a
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teenager
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experience
in their
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future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others say the
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teenager
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experience
is more impact
Did you mean “than”?
then
a
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child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. In my essay, I will discuss all sides and I will write my personal conclusion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the one hand, there are multiple reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say a
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child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and has a huge impact in their
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future
life.
Firstly
, a
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child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
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school
Possible spelling mistake found.
alway
try to do what he
The pronoun ‘he’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “sees”, “saw”.
see
in his childhood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
For example
, when a
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child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
someone smoking, he will try to do this a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why
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people
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think
that a childhood is a most
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dangerous
period of all person
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live
duo to that has a significant impact in their
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future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

On the
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other
hand, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
severals
reasons which that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
families believe
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
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experience
as a
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teenager
is bigger
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important
than a
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child
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experience
. To illustrate,
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teenager
boy
especially
at
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school
always
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see
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits which that
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other
students do it at
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school
.
For instance
, if
Please check whether a verb is missing here or whether ‘there’ should be ‘their’.
there any
student drink alcohol in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students will try to drink it like him which that can causes a significant health problem.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
period is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
serious


In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of all points views, I believe that the childhood has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: “affected”.
affect
and influence in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life, and we have
Did you mean simply “consider them”? You do not need the word “about” here.
consider about them
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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