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it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use in clothing and medicines fields

it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use in clothing and medicines fields y8YJ
Living in this society developing with unexpected speed, it has been believed among some scientists and animal protectors that animals are no longer necessary in various walks In our daily life. In this essay, I would discuss this opinion before give my own opinion. Date back to the earliest time, animals have always been a critical source of life-supporting material. Hunting was a vital activity for our ancestors, from which could gain essential vitamin and minerals. Even though people do not need hunting to survive these days, they still cannot deny that meat is still an important part of our diet and remain a source of vital nutrition elements. Having certain animals is considered a tradition; for example, if Thanksgiving dinners without any turkeys, that would not be a real festival. It is also not possible for vegetarians to persuade others to get rid of meat as well. Moreover, billions of people live by raising livestock; those people's living standards would be greatly affected if this business disappears. These days, wild creatures are no longer the dominant ingredient for clothing manufacturing, instead of using synthetic fibers consist of cotton and crude oil. However, fence and leather still in need of making warm clothes. Some parts like lusk, fur, and hides are used for luxury brand products. People today can never ignore animal's critical importance while developing a new medicine; animal experiments are required to ensure safety before applying to human beings, called clinical trials. Some parts, even organs of animals, such as bladders of bears, are considered essential Chinese medicine factors. Even though biomedicine has made a great breakthrough recently, many of them still have no way to be replaced by technology. In summaries, according to the above, it is impractical to rule out animals from catering, clothing, and medicine fields. At the same time, people have to spare no effort to protect them from extinction.
Living in this society developing with unexpected speed, it has
been believed
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protectors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are no longer necessary in various walks In our daily life. In this essay, I would discuss this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Date back to the earliest time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have always been a critical source of life-supporting material. Hunting was a vital activity for our ancestors, from which could gain essential vitamin and minerals.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not need hunting to survive these days, they
still
cannot deny that meat is
still
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our diet and remain a source of vital nutrition elements. Having certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is considered
a tradition;
for example
, if Thanksgiving dinners without any turkeys, that would not be a real festival. It is
also
not possible for vegetarians to persuade others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of meat
as well
.
Moreover
, billions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by raising livestock; those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's living standards would be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
if this business disappears.

These days, wild creatures are no longer the dominant ingredient for clothing manufacturing,
instead
of using synthetic fibers consist of cotton and crude oil.
However
, fence and leather
still
in need of making warm clothes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parts like
Possible spelling mistake found.
lusk
, fur, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hides
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for luxury brand products.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
animal's critical importance while developing a new medicine;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
experiments
are required
to ensure safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying to human beings, called clinical trials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parts, even organs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, such as bladders of bears,
are considered
essential Chinese medicine factors.
Even though
biomedicine has made a great breakthrough recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
still
have no way to
be replaced
by technology.

In summaries, according to the above, it is impractical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from catering, clothing, and medicine fields. At the same time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spare no effort to protect them from extinction.
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IELTS essay it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use in clothing and medicines fields

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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