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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to work at a job you enjoy than to make a lot of money.

It is more important to work at a job you enjoy than to make a lot of money. Ny2Eg
In my opinion, I believe that working at a job I enjoy rather than just to earn money. Because it is just enjoyable working, I can work effectively and dedicatedly, earn a lot of money, and develop my career and life. Those reasons will make my life more blissful and meaningful. First of all, we just feel comfortable and happy while working at our favorite job. Most of our time is usually spent working so that the job plays an utmost important role in our life. At that time, I can taste my working day and really enjoy my time. From that, I can dedicate and contribute all my best in my assignments and position. Another reason, when I really enjoy my job so I can work all my best and create or constantly generate new things. I love my job, and interest in my responsibilities. Actually, I can constantly explore and update my expertise and skill sets in my field. Moreover, I can receive more freelance jobs or work for additional duties. Finally, being enjoyable in working is a key which makes my life more meaningful and makes sense. Everyday going to work will be happiness and wonderful. I can relish each moment, complete my tasks, and meet my dear colleagues and boss. Which is an important factor creating my ideal life. In conclusion, it is really more significant to work at a job I feel enjoyable than to be forced to earn a lot of money. On account of this, I can work with enthusiasm and dedication, earn a lot of money, and build my career and life. Which will make sense and create an ideal life.
In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
I enjoy
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicatedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and develop my career and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Those reasons will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more blissful and meaningful.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
feel comfortable and happy while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at our favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Most of our time is
usually
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
plays an utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. At that time, I can taste my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day and
really
enjoy my time. From that, I can dedicate and contribute all my best in my assignments and position.

Another reason, when I
really
enjoy my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
all my best and create or
constantly
generate new things. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and interest in my responsibilities. Actually, I can
constantly
explore and update my expertise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets in my field.
Moreover
, I can receive more freelance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for additional duties.

Finally
, being enjoyable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is a key which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more meaningful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
sense. Everyday going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be happiness and wonderful. I can relish each moment, complete my tasks, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my dear colleagues and boss.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor creating my ideal life.

In conclusion
, it is
really
more significant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
I feel enjoyable than to
be forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. On account of this, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with enthusiasm and dedication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and build my career and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sense and create an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay It is more important to work at a job you enjoy than to make a lot of money.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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