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It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree?

It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. BeOa
Undoubtedly, industrialization and modernization are indispensable processes of development. Thus, these processes need a large amount of space for factories and other facilities. Even though industrial facilities are vital to ensure adequate supplies for living, I think the government should also focus on improving the scenes for the sake of long-term future. The obvious reason for widening the city spaces is to solve the problem of housing. In the countryside, it has not become an issue yet but in big cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh city, there are a huge number of people moving to this city to work every year. Consequently, the prior challenge the government faces is housing, therefore, maximizing the space is unavoidable. Additionally, a city cannot be seen as a livable place without entertaining facilities which also require much space. In fact, the number of people in Vietnam spending money on entertainment has increased in recent years, making this become a potential source of income for public budgets. For that reason, the government and enterprises should invest more in recreational areas. Similarly, it is evident that the more modern a city is, the more attractive it is. Thus, if the government only emphasizes on developing the country by using spaces for industrial purposes, the standard of living there, in general, will not be good enough for a healthy life. Secondly, decorating city spaces more beautifully will have considerable influence on the economy of the whole country. Practically, there will be more tourists coming to visit if only places there look more appealing. In conclusion, I believe that the government not only has to use lands effectively but also needs to emphasize on making them more beautiful to assume the responsibility for developing the country.
Undoubtedly
, industrialization and modernization are indispensable processes of development.
Thus
, these processes need a large amount of
space
for factories and other facilities.
Even though
industrial facilities are vital to ensure adequate supplies for living, I
think
the
government
should
also
focus on improving the scenes for the sake of long-term future.

The obvious reason for widening the city
spaces
is to solve the problem of housing. In the countryside, it has not become an issue
yet
but
in
big
cities
such as Hanoi and
Ho Chi Minh city
, there are a huge number of
people
moving to this city to work every year.
Consequently
, the prior challenge the
government
faces is housing,
therefore
, maximizing the
space
is unavoidable.

Additionally
, a city cannot be
seen
as a livable place without entertaining facilities which
also
require much
space
. In fact, the number of
people
in Vietnam spending money on entertainment has increased in recent years, making this become a potential source of income for public budgets. For that reason, the
government
and enterprises should invest more in recreational areas.

Similarly
, it is evident that the more modern a city is, the more attractive it is.
Thus
, if the
government
only
emphasizes on developing the country by using
spaces
for industrial purposes, the standard of living there,
in general
, will not be
good
enough
for a healthy life.
Secondly
, decorating city
spaces
more
beautifully
will have considerable influence on the economy of the whole country.
Practically
, there will be more tourists coming to visit if
only
places there look more appealing.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
government
not
only
has to
use
lands
effectively
but
also
needs to emphasize on making them more
beautiful
to assume the responsibility for developing the country.
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IELTS essay It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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