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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? PmoE
Every individual commits good and bad things in their whole lifetime. They have to realise and make sure that it should not happen in the future. Likewise, it is a significant factor to be considered in children’s life, to get rid of mistakes. They should punish in order to be aware of this differentiation. I completely agree with this statement and I will explain this essay in detail. Firstly, good behavior has to be taught in schools by the teachers to pupils. They have to give proper awareness to identify what is good and bad in the society. Whenever the students commit a crime, they should be dealt in a smooth way, instead of handling harshly. Furthermore, teach the child this is not the correct way to do, you have to avoid these kind of things (faults) done in the future, to become a good and respectable person in the society. Moreover, give some inspirational stories to omit the mistakes and provide guidance to learn the good behavioral habits from the surrounded people. Secondly, parents has to teach the moral values at home, it will guide them while growing. If they taught the societal values at childhood they will not abide from that in their lives in future. In contrast, many people punish their children rudely, this is not the correct way to treat. They have a little hearts it will break easily, if they treat them in a rough way. Additionally, give some good advice to the students to overcome those issues and lead them in a healthy path for better and safer community. Therefore, forget the wrong things that they have done and remember the right things which inspire them to do more good. To conclude, as per the persuaded discussion and in my personal opinion, teenagers has to be dealt in a sensitive way to correct their faults and motivate to do more acceptable things while inspiring.
Every individual commits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things in their whole lifetime. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that it should not happen in the future.
Likewise
, it is a significant factor to
be considered
in children’s life, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of mistakes. They should punish in order to be aware of this differentiation. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this essay in detail.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behavior
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be taught
in schools by the teachers to pupils. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give proper awareness to identify what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in the society. Whenever the students commit a crime, they should
be dealt
Consider replacing "in a smooth way" with the adverb for "smooth"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a smooth way
,
instead
of handling
harshly
.
Furthermore
, teach the child this is not the correct way to do, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
avoid
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things (faults) done in the future, to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and respectable person in the society.
Moreover
, give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inspirational stories to omit the mistakes and provide guidance to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behavioral habits from the surrounded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
teach the moral values at home, it will guide them while growing.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they taught the societal values at childhood they will not abide from that in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
punish their children
rudely
, this is not the correct way to treat. They have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "heart"?
hearts
it will break
easily
, if they treat them
Consider replacing "in a rough way" with the adverb for "rough"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a rough way
.
Additionally
, give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
advice to the students to overcome those issues and lead them in a healthy path for better and safer community.
Therefore
, forget the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things that they have done and remember the right things which inspire them to do more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

To conclude
, as per the persuaded discussion and in my personal opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be dealt
Consider replacing "in a sensitive way" with the adverb for "sensitive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a sensitive way
to correct their faults and motivate to do more acceptable things while inspiring.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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