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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes? mORL
As the world is developing, the wrongdoing is bursting simultaneously. Around various nations, this phenomenon is often frequent. In my opinion, the principal cause of the increased offence rate is poor laws, unemployment and insecurity; however, it can be curbed by focusing on the facets that arise the same. Fundamentally, various factor makes the crime amount goes up in many countries recently, and there are myriad reasons to substantiate. First and foremost, the poor laws against criminals in many countries give the best opportunities for them to perform such activities. As a result, the number of crimes increases naturally. Moreover, nowadays, many people are unemployed, owing to which they often indulge in extravagant activities, like gang-raps and gang-wars. Similarly, they get in touch with psychological disease, including depression, which encourages them to do so. Nonetheless, there are various measures which could be taken to lower the crime rate. Chiefly, authorities must implement a good bundle of laws and orders to give offenders a relevant punishment, including imprisonment, or hanging in rape cases. Furthermore, the reduction in an unemployment percentage would work as a good remedy for the increased inappropriate activities. What is more, if civilians learn how to manage their security on their own by carrying some weapons with them, the crime rate would decrease eventually. In conclusion, although the misdeed is increasing worldwide fastly, it can be depressed by taking some possible measures. The predominant cause to this is the distraction of mind due to lack of employment and the poor sight of government; the same can be reduced by managing these problems.
As the world is developing, the wrongdoing is bursting
simultaneously
. Around various nations, this phenomenon is
often
frequent. In my opinion, the principal cause of the increased
offence
rate is poor laws, unemployment and insecurity;
however
, it can
be curbed
by focusing on the facets that arise the same.

Fundamentally
, various factor
makes
the
crime
amount goes up in
many
countries recently, and there are myriad reasons to substantiate.
First
and foremost, the poor laws against criminals in
many
countries give the best opportunities for them to perform such activities.
As a result
, the number of
crimes
increases
naturally
.
Moreover
, nowadays,
many
people
are unemployed
, owing to which they
often
indulge in extravagant activities, like gang-raps and gang-wars.
Similarly
, they
get
in touch with psychological disease, including depression, which encourages them to do
so
.

Nonetheless, there are various measures which could
be taken
to lower the
crime
rate.
Chiefly
, authorities
must
implement a
good
bundle of laws and orders
to give
offenders a relevant punishment, including imprisonment, or hanging in rape cases.
Furthermore
, the reduction in an unemployment percentage would work as a
good
remedy for the increased inappropriate activities.
What is more
, if civilians learn how to manage their security on their
own
by carrying
some
weapons with them, the
crime
rate would decrease
eventually
.

In conclusion
, although the misdeed is increasing worldwide
fastly
, it can
be depressed
by taking
some
possible measures. The predominant cause to this is the distraction of mind due to lack of employment and the poor sight of
government
; the same can be
reduced
by managing these problems.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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