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It is more important to choose a career based on the high incomes that can generate instead of what makes you happy to what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is more important to choose a career based on the high incomes that can generate instead of what makes you happy eAaWW
Nowadays, a significant number of people believe that it is crucial to choose their career o job depending on the high income that this offers instead of focusing on their passion, qualifications, or even their personality, In the following essay, I will discuss some reasons why I disagree with this statement. Although payment or income has a relevant role when choosing a career or job is not everything, because a significant number of high pay jobs require tight schedules that don't leave time or room for personal growth. furthermore, can lead to depression and other serious mental diseases that is why the most important aspect is to be happy and excellent at performing this job. in addition, if someone chooses their career based on the high salaries and they do not have the right qualifications to perform it at the end of the day they are not going to earn a high salary and they would end frustrated and with a low income. Consequently, a person should choose a career in which they have the right skills, qualifications and they can perform excellently in that job moreover another aspect to take into consideration is a passion because if a person truly loves what they are doing. They are going to perform the best always looking forward to improving their performance and as a result, the money will come to them naturally. To summarize, when someone is choosing a career or job which they are going to perform for the rest of their lives, is not a good option to determine it just by their high income. Instead, they should have into consideration other aspects related to their passion, qualifications, and skills. Therefore, a high income will come.
Nowadays, a significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is crucial to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
o
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
that this offers
instead
of focusing on their passion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
, or even their personality, In the following essay, I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why I disagree with this statement.

Although payment or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
has a relevant role when choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not everything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require tight schedules that don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
time or room for personal growth.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, can lead to depression and other serious mental diseases
that is
why the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is to be happy and excellent at performing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, if someone chooses their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salaries and
they do not have the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
it at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day they are not going to earn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salary and
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
frustrated and with a low income.

Consequently
, a person should choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in which they have the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
qualifications and
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
excellently
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
moreover
another aspect to take into consideration is a passion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if a person
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
what they are doing. They are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
the best always looking forward to improving their performance and
as a result
, the money will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to them
naturally
.

To summarize
, when someone is choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which they are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to determine it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
Instead
, they should have into consideration other aspects related to their passion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
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IELTS essay It is more important to choose a career based on the high incomes that can generate instead of what makes you happy

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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