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It is more important for the government to spend money to improve internet access than to improve public transportation. v.2

It is more important for the government to spend money to improve internet access than to improve public transportation. v. 2
Budget allocation priorities have been a key factor of a successful government. This mater that how the government had better allocate money to different parts is a controversial issue between people. A majority of people think that the government should allocate more money to Internet access than expand and improve public transportation. I personally think that although spending money on internet access has its own pros, allocating more money to public transportation carry more advantages. I will explain my viewpoint in the following essay. The first noteworthy point regarding this issue is that public transportation can create a healthy society. When the government expands public transportation, people will use this transportation system more than before. In this situation, people prefer to go to their destination by public transportation instead of their private cars, and this matter can reduce air pollution and protect the environment. Also, public transportation helps people to live in a city without any traffic jam. Therefore, public transportation has a significant effect on mental and physical health. More importantly, it is axiomatic that most of the public transportations are very fast, and they help people to save their time. In the sophisticated world where we are living, various kind of cutting-edge facilities come to our aid every day and facilitate our tasks. These advanced devices help people to produce some fast and environment-friendly transportation systems such as hybrid buses or fast trains. Hence, people can arrive at their destinations quickly. For example, when I was in university, I usually went to university by subway. It only took me fifteen minutes to arrive, but when I went by my private car it took me forty minutes. All in all, by considering the mentioned reasons above, I think that it is more valuable that the government allocate money to improve public transportation rather than Internet access. This is owing to the fact that the government can protect the environment and increase public health, and public transportation avoids wasting time.
Budget allocation priorities have been a key factor of a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This mater that how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
had better allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts is a controversial issue between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to Internet access than expand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that although spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on internet access has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros, allocating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
carry more advantages. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my viewpoint in the following essay.

The
first
noteworthy point regarding this issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
can create a healthy society. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
expands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to go to their destination by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
instead
of their private cars, and this matter can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution and protect the environment.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city without any traffic jam.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has a significant effect on mental and physical health.

More
importantly
, it is axiomatic that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save their time. In the sophisticated world where we are living, various kind of cutting-edge facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our aid every day and facilitate our tasks. These advanced devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and environment-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
systems such as hybrid buses or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can arrive at their destinations
quickly
.
For example
, when I was in university, I
usually
went to university by subway. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
took me fifteen minutes to arrive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when I went by my private car it took me forty minutes.

All in all, by considering the mentioned reasons above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more valuable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
rather
than Internet access. This is owing to the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can protect the environment and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
avoids wasting time.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for the government to spend money to improve internet access than to improve public transportation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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