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It is more important for the government to spend money on new building than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes v.2

It is more important for the government to spend money on new building than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes v. 2
Budgeting is a great challenge for governments since it causes lots of conflicts among different groups of citizens. Some people are of the opinion that we should preserve the historical buildings while others hold an opposite point of view. Even though we can learn lots of things from historical buildings, but I insist that investing in new buildings has a greater priority. In the following, I am willing to support my perspective by proposing two main arguments. First and the foremost reason lies in the fact that government should satisfy the growing demands of the society. Population growth causes lots of problems for the government. They have to build some efficient buildings which occupy less space and have all of the facility for its inhabitants. The government should spend money on the research projects. Civil engineering is a wide branch of knowledge that covers scores of subjects. The government should provide appropriate funds for these projects. I admit that we can learn from our ancestors. However, I think past information is trivial compared to the future findings. In that case, we should look for new methods to answer upcoming needs. For instance, there was a great debate in my city about an old building in the city center. It had about one hundred years old. But it was located in the city center. It contributed to traffic jams. After its destruction, people could reach their workplaces on time. In fact, the municipal government ended up this problem. Accordingly, I think our current needs have a higher priority than our useless inheritances. Another subtle factor rests on the notion that government can reduce the pressure on traditional buildings by making new buildings. Nowadays, some historical building is used for practical purposes. By making new building we can increase their life spans. For instance, there is a famous museum in my city, Birjand. Its building is related to two century ago. It has two stories. There is a growing concern about the second story since scientists believe crowds of people can destroy it over time. In that case, local government is going to change the museum location. A new building can lower the negative effect of people in that building. There is numerous similar example in my country which those historical buildings are used. Therefore, the government should invest in new building with higher efficiency to facilitate people' s lives and keep old buildings intact. To sum up, I would like to point out that we should prepare ourselves for future. In other words, our current needs have greater priority than the previous ones. Not only will it solve scores of existing problems but it also decreases the destruction possibility of historical buildings and monuments due to overuse. We all should consider various aspects of our decisions on our lives. Some ideas at first might seem plausible, but, in fact, they just waste our efforts.
Budgeting is a great challenge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
since it causes lots of conflicts among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
groups of citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that we should preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
while others hold an opposite point of view.
Even though
we can learn lots of things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I insist that investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
has a greater priority. In the following, I am willing to support my perspective by proposing two main arguments.

First
and the foremost reason lies in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should satisfy the growing demands of the society. Population growth causes lots of problems for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which occupy less space and have
Consider using "all the".
all of the
facility for its inhabitants. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on the research projects. Civil engineering is a wide branch of knowledge that covers scores of subjects. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide appropriate funds for these projects. I admit that we can learn from our ancestors.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
past information is trivial compared to the future findings.
In that case
, we should look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
methods to answer upcoming needs.
For instance
, there was a great debate in my city about an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in the city center. It had about one hundred years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
was located
in the city center. It contributed to traffic jams. After its destruction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could reach their workplaces on time. In fact, the municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ended up this problem.
Accordingly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
needs have a higher priority than our useless inheritances.

Another subtle factor rests on the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for practical purposes. By making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
we can increase their life spans.
For instance
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
museum in my city,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Birjand
. Its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is related
to two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'century' seems to be countable, so consider using: "centuries".
century
ago. It has two stories. There is a growing concern about the second story since scientists believe crowds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
it over time.
In that case
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the museum location. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can lower the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. There is numerous similar example in my country which those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with higher efficiency to facilitate
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
intact.

To sum up, I would like to point out that we should prepare ourselves for future.
In other words
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
needs have greater priority than the previous ones. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it solve scores of existing problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
decreases the destruction possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and monuments due to overuse. We all should consider various aspects of our decisions on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
at
first
might seem plausible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in fact, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
waste our efforts.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for the government to spend money on new building than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
483 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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