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IT IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR STUDENTS TO STUDY INTERNATIONAL HISTORY THAN LOCAL HISTORY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

IT IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR STUDENTS TO STUDY INTERNATIONAL HISTORY THAN LOCAL HISTORY. oVEK9
History has recently become a subject of widespread concern. Some people claim that studying world history is more principal than national history. However, I believe that international history plays a more important role for students. On the one hand, students should be taught national history in order to understand deeply about their ancestors. It is not only about the changes in country development, but also the individual’s patriotism. More clearly, when students learn their national history, they can feel proud of their forefathers. For instance, teachers teach children about the war between Vietnam and Chinese throughout 1000 years, students will be respectful and grateful to their ancestors. However, domestic history is a small piece of the historical map in the world mentioned on the positive side through the country's events. Admittedly, national history is not written objectively, leading to an unbalanced viewpoint. As a result, everyone has a strong foundation of knowledge about their national heritage, but national history is not objective in the overall picture. On the other hand, international history is very vital for children’s opportunities to integrate globally. It means that if students acquire world history, they can interact with many people from other countries and have a multidimensional perspective. Therefore, children who hold the world's future will be global citizens. For example, if high-school Vietnamese students want to study abroad, they will know the exact culture of the country through historical documents. It can lead to easily adapting to a completely new environment and their horizon is broadened. Eventually, world history brings sophisticated knowledge to better prepare for the industry 4. 0. To conclude, from my perspective, it is very crucial for encouraging studying world history in school. Everyone should have access to equitable historical information for global developments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
has recently become a subject of widespread concern.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is more principal than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
However
, I believe that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
plays a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for students.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in order to understand
deeply
about their ancestors. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in country development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the individual’s patriotism. More
clearly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they can feel proud of their forefathers.
For instance
, teachers teach children about the war between Vietnam and Chinese throughout 1000 years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be respectful and grateful to their ancestors.
However
, domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
piece of the historical map in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
mentioned on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side through the country's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is not written
objectively
, leading to an unbalanced viewpoint.
As a result
, everyone has a strong foundation of knowledge about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
heritage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is not objective in the
overall
picture.

On the other hand
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for children’s opportunities to integrate globally. It means that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they can interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other countries and have a multidimensional perspective.
Therefore
, children who hold the world's future will be global citizens.
For example
, if high-school Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to study abroad, they will know the exact culture of the country through historical documents. It can lead to
easily
adapting to a completely new environment and their horizon
is broadened
.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
brings sophisticated knowledge to better prepare for the industry 4. 0.

To conclude
, from my perspective, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for encouraging studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in school. Everyone should have access to equitable historical information for global developments.
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IELTS essay IT IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR STUDENTS TO STUDY INTERNATIONAL HISTORY THAN LOCAL HISTORY.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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