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In The Past, Shopping Was A Routine Domestic Task. Many People Nowadays Regard It As A Hobby. To What Extent Do You Think This Is A Positive Trend.

In The Past, Shopping Was A Routine Domestic Task. Many People Nowadays Regard It As A Hobby. 8Qarl
A few years back shopping was considered as a task which may be done in fulfilling the daily needs of their routine work, but these days the majority of persons take shopping as a hobby. This is an overall negative trend because now people spend extra money on shopping the things which they do not want, whereas in a past they do not have enough money and time to spend other than on necessary ones. Firstly, people did not have enough money and time in the past due to their household chores. This is because, at that time the income was very limited and there were extra work to do in houses. Neither they find spare time to go shopping instead of their daily needs nor they had enough amount of money to spend on their leisure activities. For example, women in India were too busy in handling the house work along with managing farming work and children, that they did not get time for themselves. On the other hand, these days people have enough money and time and various options to spend on their leisure activities. As this is a technology era, much work may be done by machines so human labour get decreased to a great extent. The structure of the economy is also good now, so they can spend money on buying unnecessary items also. Additionally, they have access of credit cards from that they can buy first and pay later. Apart from this, this is a fashion era, almost every thing is accessible in the market. For instance, many youngsters do shopping on a credit card because they know they have to give money later on. In conclusion, people did not have sufficient time and money for spending on unwanted items but now due to these both, they spend a lot on the things which are not necessarily required, So it is an overall negative trend.
A few years back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
was considered
as a task which may
be done
in fulfilling the daily needs of their routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days the majority of persons take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a hobby. This is an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
the things which they do not want, whereas in a past they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
other than on necessary ones.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the past due to their household chores. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the income was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited and there were extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to do in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Neither they find spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
instead
of their daily
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
needs nor
they had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on their leisure activities.
For example
, women in India were too busy in handling the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
along with managing farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and children, that they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves.

On the other hand
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and various options to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on their leisure activities. As this is a technology era, much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
may
be done
by machines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decreased to a great extent. The structure of the economy is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on buying unnecessary items
also
.
Additionally
, they have access of credit cards from that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
first
and pay later. Apart from this, this is a fashion era, almost every thing is accessible in the market.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on a credit card
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
later on.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for spending on unwanted items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
due to these both, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a lot on the things which are not
necessarily
required,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.
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IELTS essay In The Past, Shopping Was A Routine Domestic Task. Many People Nowadays Regard It As A Hobby.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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