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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. v. 4
Some people believe that it is very crucial for young kids to know about the local happenings. However, other people give importance to global history as it is considered more useful. Each and every place have their own unique history. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that local history should be taught to school chilnd can be lost over the period of time, to prevent such miss happenings it is necessary to encourage children to seek knowledge of the place. For example, some of the tribes lost their history and the origin, and know they don’t hadren. I will propose possible illustration for the same. To begin with, every place has its own series of events, and to preserve it, children should learn the history of the place. History can be altered ave a promising tale to tell. In all, History keeps the authenticity of the place intact. Secondly, it necessitates emotional attachment to the land, this often help children to grow stronger. In other words, it entails a sense of patriotism for the place and binds the soul with the soil. For instance, People tend to die to protect their unique culture and heritage. They have pride in their history, and they want to pass theses values to their children. To conclude, history is more than a factual representation of the occurrence of events, it is connected emotionally to peoples lives. Therefore, it is essential for children to know about such events which changed their ancestor’s lives. It is the responsibility of the parent and the government to fetch these happening in children’s school books.
Some
people
believe that it is
very
crucial for young kids to know about the local happenings.
However
, other
people
give importance to global
history
as it
is considered
more useful. Each and every
place
have their
own
unique
history
. In my opinion, I
agree
with the statement that local
history
should
be taught
to school
chilnd
can
be lost
over the period of time, to
prevent
such miss happenings it is necessary to encourage
children
to seek knowledge of the
place
.
For example
,
some of the
tribes lost their
history
and the origin, and
know
they don’t
hadren
. I will propose possible illustration for the same.

To
begin
with, every
place
has its
own
series of
events
, and to preserve it,
children
should learn the
history
of the
place
.
History
can
be altered
ave a promising tale to
tell
. In all,
History
keeps
the authenticity of the
place
intact.

Secondly
, it necessitates emotional attachment to the land, this
often
help
children
to grow stronger.
In other words
, it entails a sense of patriotism for the
place
and binds the soul with the soil.
For instance
,
People
tend to
die
to protect their unique culture and heritage. They have pride in their
history
, and they want to pass
theses
values to their children.

To conclude
,
history
is more than a factual representation of the occurrence of
events
, it
is connected
emotionally
to
peoples
lives
.
Therefore
, it is essential for
children
to know about such
events
which
changed
their ancestor’s
lives
. It is the responsibility of the parent and the
government
to fetch these happening in
children’s
school books.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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