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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree? v.10

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. v. 10
When it comes to history, there is a school of thought that young students should learn about the past of their own country first and foremost before going to the international history. I completely agree with this opinion. The most compelling argument for putting local history above international one in school is that it would be easier for pupils to learn. They have been unconsciously familiar with and strongly connected to the language and culture of their own country during early childhood, which helps set a solid foundation for learning national history. Memorizing historical names certainly typifies this, in which students would find it easier to learn the terms they can write down and pronounce more than doing so with what coming from another linguistic sphere. Another more pragmatic reason for prioritizing local history is that it is usually already easier to teach students what about their country than about the outside world. Generally, history educators are more knowledgeable about the past of their own country than of another specific civilization. In addition, materials and facilities for teaching local history are often more available than for foreign ones. Therefore, it would be difficult to reverse the condition to put more weight on the history of the world. Finally, global history should not be learnt by young schoolers because of its complexity. Most learners at very young age are not capable of connecting different historical events on the world stage, which could only be accomplished by students at master level or scholars. They should only be taught about what happened in their own country with less complicated matters to understand more easily and remember longer. In conclusion, I absolutely believe that history lessons delivered at school should be more about the past of the nation than that of the world.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, there is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn about the past of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
first
and foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

The most compelling argument for putting local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
above international one in school is that it would be easier for pupils to learn. They have been
unconsciously
familiar with and
strongly
connected to the language and culture of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
during early childhood, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
set a solid foundation for learning national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Memorizing historical names
certainly
typifies this, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would find it easier to learn the terms they can write down and pronounce more than doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with what coming from another linguistic sphere.

Another more pragmatic reason for prioritizing local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is that it is
usually
already easier to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
what about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
than about the outside world.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
educators are more knowledgeable about the past of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
than of another specific civilization.
In addition
, materials and facilities for teaching local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more available than for foreign ones.
Therefore
, it would be difficult to reverse the condition to put more weight on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the world.

Finally
, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by young schoolers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its complexity. Most learners at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age are not capable of connecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on the world stage, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be accomplished
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at master level or scholars. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
about what happened in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with less complicated matters to understand more
easily
and remember longer.

In conclusion
, I
absolutely
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
lessons delivered at school should be more about the past of the nation than that of the world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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