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It is inevitable that there is always a stiff competition in the job market due to the fact that more old people tend to apply for the same positions as young people.

It is inevitable that there is always a stiff competition in the job market due to the fact that more old people tend to apply for the same positions as young people. Wq5mb
It is inevitable that there is always a stiff competition in the job market due to the fact that more old people tend to apply for the same positions as young people. As far as I am concerned, this phenomenon could result in a number of serious problems which should be tackled using appropriate measures. To begin with, there is no doubt that a cut- throat competition between young and old applicants would lead to less job opportunities for people in both age groups. Initially, it is supposed that golden agers would surpass freshers in terms of experience and many facets to their personalities, like prudence, patience, maturity and so on. As a result, seniors are more likely to get high positions in the companies, such as managers or team leaders. This turns out to be a stumbling block for young aspirants. However, in recent days, there would be numerous impediments for grey population to land a job. Nowadays, human sources have been eclipsed by the power of technology. Obviously, computer knowledge has been one of the vital job requirements. That’s why chief executives have a tendency to select young generation as their employees because they are likely to grasp new things quicky and be more ingenious, dynamic. Therefore, there has been an increase in the number of old people who are in need of money are out of work. Therefore, I believe that the government should take actions to solve the aforementioned problems. One feasible solution is to allocate funds in order to provide old people with assets with regard to healthcare, pension and so on. In this way, earning a living would never be a major concern among elderly population. Another possible way to overcome the issue is to fix retirement age among businesses and corporations. Therfore, there would be less hard competition in finding a job between the young and old. In addition, it helps to broaden more chance for young workers to promote in job. In conclusion, a vicious competition in seeking jobs among people in different ages causes various predicaments which impact negatively on people’s living standard and a nation’s economic development as well. Thus, some urgent initiatives should be adopted so as to solve this problem as soon as possible.
It is inevitable that there is always a stiff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market due to the fact that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to apply for the same positions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As far as I
am concerned
, this phenomenon could result in a number of serious problems which should
be tackled
using appropriate measures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
- throat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
applicants would lead to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in both age groups.
Initially
, it
is supposed
that golden
Possible spelling mistake found.
agers
would surpass freshers in terms of experience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facets to their personalities, like prudence, patience, maturity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
As a result
, seniors are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high positions in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as managers or team leaders. This turns out to be a stumbling block for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
aspirants.
However
, in recent days, there would be numerous impediments for
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
population to land a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Nowadays, human sources have
been eclipsed
by the power of technology.
Obviously
, computer knowledge has been one of the vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements. That’s why chief executives have a tendency to select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation as their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are likely to grasp new things
Possible spelling mistake found.
quicky
and be more ingenious, dynamic.
Therefore
, there has been an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in need of money are out of work.

Therefore
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take actions to solve the aforementioned problems. One feasible solution is to allocate funds in order to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with assets with regard to healthcare, pension and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In this way, earning a living would never be a major concern among elderly population. Another possible way to overcome the issue is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
retirement age among businesses and corporations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Therfore
, there would be less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to broaden more chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
workers to promote in job.

In conclusion
, a vicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages causes various predicaments which impact
negatively
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
living standard and a nation’s economic development
as well
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urgent initiatives should
be adopted
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
solve this problem as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
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IELTS essay It is inevitable that there is always a stiff competition in the job market due to the fact that more old people tend to apply for the same positions as young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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