Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

With a progress of globalization, the development about comprehensive of children are contingent upon around environment. On the basis of, there are many people fall out with each other that parents and external factor such as televisions or peers has an essential role to play in certain step to grow of child. In my opinion, both factors constitute different but equally important parts

With a progress of globalization, the development about comprehensive of children are contingent upon around environment. On the basis of, there are many people fall out with each other that parents and external factor such as televisions or peers has an essential role to play in certain step to grow of child. In my opinion, both factors constitute different but equally important parts 0w663
With a progress of globalization, the development about comprehensive of children are contingent upon around environment. On the basis of, there are many people fall out with each other that parents and external factor such as televisions or peers has an essential role to play in certain step to grow of child. In my opinion, both factors constitute different but equally important parts. One the one hand, according to majority families, the good habits and virtues like: persistent or courteous, … are the one of most ingredient to form a child’s, that is to say, they encourage an independent study habit and when the child fall down they have to stand up one their own without the assist of their parents when they are 3 years old. Also at the age of 3, the parents regular let them sleep alone to train confidence. Moreover, they teach their children from seemingly trivial daily routine such as brushing teeth, washing face before go to bed and after wake up in the morning to defending yourself when being bullied. Hence, since the mothers are pregnant until the age of school and finally to mature, parents are still the pathfinder who lead children on the path towards the right in the process of maturity. With the unconditional love for their flesh and blood and a good source of life experience, parental care is intrinsically pivotal and irreplaceable. One the other hand, if parents are putting wings of dream for their child each day, these activities such as: painting, puzzling or social aspect as a friends, technologies, … will be designed to foster children’s creativity and development personality. Indeed, virtually no human being can be properly developed without access outside world. Interacting with their peers, children are able to learn from one another, for instance, they can learn about either football or basketball. Sometime, they will be motivated by new things. Therefore, if children were detained too much, they would have a huge problem about psychology, not only the standard of living or one’s spiritual life were not be complete without such an exposure to different personalities but also it spark off major consequences in the future. Furthermore, there will be beneficial for child if they exposure to the internet effectively under reasonable parental control. In conclusion, I am convinced that parents need set a good example for their kids and exterior elements are equally important to develop children. For this reason, a harmonious combination of both sides is essential
With
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "progress".
a progress
of globalization, the development about comprehensive of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are contingent upon around environment. On the basis of, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fall out with each other that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and external factor such as televisions or peers has an essential role to play in certain step to grow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. In my opinion, both factors constitute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, according to majority families, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits and virtues like: persistent or courteous, … are the one of most ingredient to form a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
,
that is
to say, they encourage an independent study habit and when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
fall down they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stand up one their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
without the assist of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they are 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
at the age of 3, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them sleep alone to train confidence.
Moreover
, they teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
seemingly
trivial daily routine such as brushing teeth, washing face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
go to bed and after wake up in the morning to defending yourself when
being bullied
.
Hence
, since the mothers are pregnant until the age of school and
finally
to mature,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
still
the pathfinder who lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on the path towards the right in the process of maturity. With the unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for their flesh and blood and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of life experience, parental care is
intrinsically
pivotal and irreplaceable.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are putting wings of dream for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
each day, these activities such as: painting, puzzling or social aspect as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a friend" or simply "friends"?
a friends
, technologies, … will
be designed
to foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
creativity and development personality.
Indeed
,
virtually
no human being can be
properly
developed without access outside world. Interacting with their peers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to learn from one another,
for instance
, they can learn about either football or basketball. Sometime, they will
be motivated
by new things.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were detained
too much, they would have a huge problem about psychology, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the standard of living or one’s spiritual life were not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
complete without such an exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
Did you mean "sparks"?
spark
off major consequences in the future.
Furthermore
, there will be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
if
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they exposure
to the internet
effectively
under reasonable parental control.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for their kids and exterior elements are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For this reason
, a harmonious combination of both sides is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
essential
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay With a progress of globalization, the development about comprehensive of children are contingent upon around environment. On the basis of, there are many people fall out with each other that parents and external factor such as televisions or peers has an essential role to play in certain step to grow of child. In my opinion, both factors constitute different but equally important parts

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • With a progress of globalization, the development about comprehensive of children are contingent upon around environment. On the basis of, there are many people fall out with each other that parents and external factor such as televisions or peers has an essential role to play in certain step to grow of child. In my opinion, both factors constitute different but equally important parts