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It is inevitable that plenty of people is struggling with achieving equilibrium between work and other life matters

It is inevitable that plenty of people is struggling with achieving equilibrium between work and other life matters Vwna6
It is inevitable that plenty of people is struggling with achieving equilibrium between work and other life matters. Although there will undoubtedly be negative repercussions of this trend, individuals and governments can take steps to attain harmony between personal life and one's job. A multitude of repercussions are resulted from the inability to strike a balance between work and personal life. To begin with, it devastates personal relationships, due to the scarcity of face-to-face communication and amicable talks with family members and friends. First, people suffer from a variety of mental illnesses. For instance, people who have no opportunity to eat dinner with their family as well as confide in somebody about their difficulty, thereby, they may pent-up tension and solitude. In addition, it can possibly lead to serious physical well-being since it puts a strain on backbones, eyes result like poor eyesight, dizziness, fatigue, back pain, stomachache, and so on. In fact, working in front of a computer screen for a long time will make us nearsighted or desk work makes us have spine issues. There are several immediate actions that people could take to tackle the problems described above. Firstly, time management skills can be applied for those who might be too time-poor to communicate with family and friends because it can allocate sufficient time for everyone. Therefore, people could spend rational time with their family, promote the family’s atmosphere as well as being harmonious with friends. A second measure is providing periodic medical checkups and in-company sports facilities such as gyms, yoga classes during lunch breaks. Thus, these proposals help people better monitor their own health as well as give them time to be active and entertained so they might not get sick when they are overloaded. As a result, people's attitude towards work will be more preferable, thereby improving the company's work productivity. In conclusion, various measures including arranging the appropriate time and improving the organization’s facilities can be taken to address the detrimental that are certain to arise.
It is inevitable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
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people
is struggling with achieving equilibrium between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and other life matters. Although there will
undoubtedly
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
repercussions of this trend, individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can take steps to attain harmony between personal life and one's job.

A multitude of repercussions
are resulted
from the inability to strike a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal life. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it devastates personal relationships, due to the scarcity of face-to-face communication and amicable talks with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and friends.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from a variety of mental illnesses.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have no opportunity to eat dinner with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
as confide in somebody about their difficulty, thereby, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
may pent-up
tension and solitude.
In addition
, it can
possibly
lead to serious physical well-being since it puts a strain on backbones, eyes result like poor eyesight, dizziness, fatigue, back pain, stomachache, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In fact, working in front of a computer screen for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us nearsighted or desk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us have spine issues.

There are several immediate actions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could take to tackle the problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
be applied
for those who might be too time-poor to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can allocate sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for everyone.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could spend rational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
atmosphere
as well
as being harmonious with friends. A second measure is providing periodic medical checkups and in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
sports facilities such as gyms, yoga classes during lunch breaks.
Thus
, these proposals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
better monitor their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health
as well
as give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be active and entertained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick when they
are overloaded
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be more preferable, thereby improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productivity.

In conclusion
, various measures including arranging the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and improving the organization’s facilities can
be taken
to address the detrimental that are certain to arise.
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IELTS essay It is inevitable that plenty of people is struggling with achieving equilibrium between work and other life matters

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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