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It is increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way to fund them? (the government, businesses or individuals? ) v.1

It is increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way to fund them? (the government, businesses or individuals? ) v. 1
In recent years, museums have become increasingly important in the citizens’ culture lives all around the world. However, the cost of running them for the public is actually exorbitant. This essay will demonstrate that governments have more advantages in terms of funding museums than businesses and individuals. To begin with, it is true that the authorities have the ability to subsidize the large museums and help them to lower their expenditure spent opening for the public. Actually, governments possess plenty of revenues by taxing their citizens, so they can budget a lot of money to pay the staff of museums and cut back on the entry fees, which make the museums more accessible to both tourists and local residents. For instance, the Folk Museum of Yanbian Korea Minority, in Yanji city, is a successful case. It has been a famous tourist destination because of the subsidy from the local council, and it has no fiscal deficit at present. Admittedly, government fundings play a significant role in reducing the cost of merchandising the large museums. Nevertheless, this also gives the authorities a heavy burden. Therefore, governments can also make the most of their higher prestige than entrepreneurs and celebrities to launch online donations or volunteering project, raising the folk fundings or recruiting some volunteers for smaller museums such as art galleries. These auxiliary measures not only contribute to cutbacks of galleries’ running costs but also relieve the extra financial burden of the authorities. Finally, although corporations and individuals cannot sponsor museums with huge money, there are some efforts they are able to make. For example, companies can rent a spare space of certain gallery to promote their offerings related to arts like some new books or luxury bags. Besides, an artist could choose a gallery as the venue to hold his or her own exhibition there. Consequently, theses efforts are likely to absorb many visitors of galleries and in return augment their revenue. In conclusion, governments have the obligation to help museums to address their budget deficits and maintain them to open for the public. However, businesses and individuals can also make efforts to relieve governments’ burdens of funding museums and galleries.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have become
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the citizens’ culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
all around the world.
However
, the cost of running them for the public is actually exorbitant. This essay will demonstrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have more advantages in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
than businesses and individuals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that the authorities have the ability to subsidize the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to lower their expenditure spent opening for the public. Actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of revenues by taxing their citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to pay the staff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
back on the entry fees, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
more accessible to both tourists and local residents.
For instance
, the Folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yanbian
Korea Minority, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yanji
city, is a successful case. It has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
tourist destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the subsidy from the local council, and it has no fiscal deficit at present.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundings play
a significant role in reducing the cost of merchandising the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Nevertheless
, this
also
gives the authorities a heavy burden.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the most of their higher prestige than entrepreneurs and celebrities to launch online donations or volunteering project, raising the folk
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundings
or recruiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
volunteers for smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
such as art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
. These auxiliary measures not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contribute to cutbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries’
running costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
relieve the extra financial burden of the authorities.

Finally
, although corporations and individuals cannot sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with huge money, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efforts they are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can rent a spare space of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
to promote their offerings related to arts like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new books or luxury bags.
Besides
, an artist could choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
as the venue to hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
exhibition there.
Consequently
,
Did you mean "these"?
theses
efforts are likely to absorb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
and in return augment their revenue.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have the obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to address their budget deficits and maintain them to open for the public.
However
, businesses and individuals can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
efforts to relieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
burdens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay It is increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way to fund them? (the government, businesses or individuals? ) v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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