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Development in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Development in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. v. 2
In the era of industrialization, along with developments of technology are the increase in environmental concerns. While some people believe that living simpler is the way to solve these problems, others argue that technology is the answer to the solution. Despite agreeing that living simpler considerably improves the environment, I also believe that technology should be applied to tackle its troubles. On the one hand, I suppose that living simpler lives decreases environmental issues. Nowadays, because of industrial life, by burning fossil fuels for factories, the power, and transportation sectors, carbon dioxide is produced and causes climate change. Consequently, this contributes to global warming, which leads to serious calamity occurrences, such as rising sea levels due to thermal expansion and melting of glaciers and ice sheets, forest fires and the sudden appearance of pests and diseases. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that technology is the way to handle environmental matters. In particular, renewable energy technology is a notorious proof. Wind turbines, solar and hydroelectric power offer alternative sources of energy that are eco-friendly and efficient. These resources generate energy that produces no greenhouse gas emission as fossil fuels do, which helps cut down on air pollution. Secondly, thanks to high-tech innovations taking on plastic bags, people now have ways to reduce these non-biodegradable wastes. For example, plastic bags can be granulated and be mixed with concrete to form bricks. Undoubtedly, this can become a source of plastic bags consumption to clean up the environment. In conclusion, although minimalism is one of the efficient ways to decrease harmful damages to the environment, I do believe that technology plays an important role in finding a solution to environmental concerns.
In the era of industrialization, along with developments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that living simpler is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to solve these problems, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the answer to the solution. Despite agreeing that living simpler
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the environment, I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should
be applied
to tackle its troubles.

On the one hand, I suppose that living simpler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
decreases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of industrial life, by burning fossil fuels for factories, the power, and transportation sectors, carbon dioxide
is produced
and causes climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Consequently
, this contributes to global warming, which leads to serious calamity occurrences, such as rising sea levels due to thermal expansion and melting of glaciers and ice sheets, forest fires and the sudden appearance of pests and diseases.

On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
matters.
In particular
, renewable energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a notorious proof. Wind turbines, solar and hydroelectric power offer alternative sources of energy that are eco-friendly and efficient. These resources generate energy that produces no greenhouse gas emission as fossil fuels do, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on air pollution.
Secondly
, thanks to high-tech innovations taking on plastic bags,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these non-biodegradable wastes.
For example
, plastic bags can
be granulated
and
be mixed
with concrete to form bricks.
Undoubtedly
, this can become a source of plastic bags consumption to clean up the environment.

In conclusion
, although minimalism is one of the efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to decrease harmful damages to the environment, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in finding a solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Development in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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