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It is important to know how to play a musical instrument. do u agree or disagree ?

It is important to know how to play a musical instrument. do u agree or disagree? m15AL
Music by itself, is really very interesting and being able to play a musical instrument is a fascinating deed. However, I don't think that it is important to know how to play a musical instrument for many reasons. First of all, I think that playing a musical instrument is a gifted talent, that can evolve in certain people over time. Most of the popular artists who play on a musical instruments, are usually born within a musical family. For example Bethhoven, one the most famous pianist in the world, was born in a family that was indulged into music. Both his father and his grand father were. . .
Music by itself, is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting and being able to play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
is a fascinating deed.
However
, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know how to play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
is a gifted talent, that can evolve in certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over time. Most of the popular artists who play on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
, are
usually
born within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
family.
For example
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bethhoven
, one the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
pianist in the world,
was born
in a family that
was indulged
into music. Both his father and his grand father were.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS essay It is important to know how to play a musical instrument. do u agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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