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Paleo diets, in which one eats how early hominids (human ancestors) did, are becoming increasingly popular. Proponents claim our bodies evolved to eat these types of food, especially bone broth, a soup made by cooking animal bones for several hours. They

Paleo diets, in which one eats how early hominids (human ancestors) did, are becoming increasingly popular. Proponents claim our bodies evolved to eat these types of food, especially bone broth, a soup made by cooking animal bones for several hours. They 3agVJ
The passage states that a culinary recipe is good for our heath becaus of certain nutrients within bones is beneficial to us and that there is anecdotal evidence. However, the argument is not sound because it is missing some information to substantiate it. To be specific, it should provide evidence about chondroitin and cartilage to corroborate the notions of the proposition or the opposition. Moreover, anecdotal evidence is not enough to prove that these recipies are truly efficient, and concluding that ancient humans possessed more knowledge than the contemporary humans are absurd. First of all, there is not scientific proof that shows the effects of chondroitin or cartilage. If the passaged adduced experimental results from scientific papers, either the advocates or dissidents would have been cogent. However, neither sides presents evidence and thus there is the possibility of other conclusions such as cartilage rather than repleteing the substance in one's knees, could help alleviate the pain felt in the joints. Hence, more information about the relationship between theses substances and their effects are needed. Next, the passage presents anecdotal evidence as proof that this diet is salubrious for people, which however, could be the result of exterior influences rather than the diet itself. For instance, people practicing this diet could usually be vegitarians and bone eating is their supplant way of protein intake. In this case, the propitious health conditions could have resulted from the vegetarian diet, not from the substances innate in the paleo diets. Consequently, for this aphorism to be accepted, there should be more information regarding that other than this special food intake, the people practicing this diet does not have any abnormalities, or scientific evidence regarding this issue. Finally, the conclusion that the passage makes in the end is illogical. Even if cartilage and chondroitin is healthy to us, it does not mean that our ancestors were more informed about our physiology. This food could have been the result of extreme frugality: in our ancestors endeavor to eat anything that could be digested due to the desultory food sources. In addition, imitating them could not be helpful in curing inveterate disease because of the change in physiology from our ancient form. What could have been a good source of nutritions could have become a source of poison for our bodies. In conclusion, the passage needs to provide additional proof to reinforce it's asseverations. It should provide scientific evidence about the substances that seem salubrious, and objective proof rather than a story to be coherent. Last but not least, it should elucidate on how it reached the conclusion that our ancestors had profound knowledge that contemporary humans doesn't.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
states that a culinary recipe is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our heath
Possible spelling mistake found.
becaus
of certain nutrients within bones is beneficial to us and that there is anecdotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
.
However
, the argument is not sound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is missing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information to substantiate it. To be specific, it should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
about chondroitin and cartilage to corroborate the notions of the proposition or the opposition.
Moreover
, anecdotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to prove that these
Possible spelling mistake found.
recipies
are
truly
efficient, and concluding that ancient humans possessed more knowledge than the contemporary humans are absurd.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proof
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the effects of chondroitin or cartilage. If the
Possible spelling mistake found.
passaged
adduced experimental results from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
papers, either the advocates or dissidents would have been cogent.
However
, neither sides presents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
and
thus
there is the possibility of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusions
such as cartilage
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
repleteing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
in one's knees, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
alleviate the pain felt in the joints.
Hence
, more information about the relationship between
Did you mean "these"?
theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
and their effects
are needed
.

Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
presents anecdotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proof
that this diet is salubrious for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which
however
, could be the result of exterior influences
rather
than the diet itself.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
practicing this diet could
usually
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegitarians
and bone eating is their supplant way of protein intake.
In this case
, the propitious health conditions could have resulted from the vegetarian diet, not from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
innate in the paleo diets.
Consequently
, for this aphorism to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
, there should be more information regarding that other than this special food intake, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
practicing this diet does not have any abnormalities, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
regarding this issue.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
is illogical. Even if cartilage and chondroitin is healthy to us, it does not mean that our ancestors were more informed about our physiology. This food could have been the result of extreme frugality: in our ancestors endeavor to eat anything that could
be digested
due to the desultory food sources.
In addition
, imitating them could not be helpful in curing inveterate disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in physiology from our ancient form. What could have been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
could have become a source of poison for our bodies.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
needs to provide additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proof
Did you mean "to reinforce its asseverations"?
to reinforce it's asseverations
. It should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
that seem salubrious, and objective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proof
rather
than a story to be coherent. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it should elucidate on how it reached the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
that our ancestors had profound knowledge that contemporary humans doesn't.
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IELTS essay Paleo diets, in which one eats how early hominids (human ancestors) did, are becoming increasingly popular. Proponents claim our bodies evolved to eat these types of food, especially bone broth, a soup made by cooking animal bones for several hours. They

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
441 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Paleo diets, in which one eats how early hominids (human ancestors) did, are becoming increasingly popular. Proponents claim our bodies evolved to eat these types of food, especially bone broth, a soup made by cooking animal bones for several hours. They