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It is important to follow fashion . Do you agree or disagree

It is important to follow fashion. PEd0B
In today's society, following fashion is very common for everyone, so it is not strange if you go out and see everyone wearing the same clothes. Many people think that following fashion is important because it can gauge your wealth and status. To my way of thinking, I am personally against that running after fashion is vital. First of all, most people definitely find it very costly to be on-trend, so it is unfair to those who cannot afford the latest fashion. If you’re a fashion addict, you can agree that every time a new trend hits the high street, your bank balance suddenly takes a downturn. You can easily imagine how much money you spend on fashion when a new clothing design is released by a lot of different brands every few weeks. And sometimes it can even be a waste of money for salaried people because they have to pay for various expenses such as rent or electricity bills, so they assume this is an unwise expenditure. In addition, fashion trends take away the ‘you’ from you; it means that you are losing the value of yourself. One of the most beautiful things about fashion is that it is a way for people to let their personalities shine through; however, sometimes following fashion can take that away. Everyone is born with a unique characteristic and style, so if you’re wearing the same things everybody else is, where is your personal style? Choose something that can give off and reflect the real you instead of trying to conceal who you are behind the fashionable and luxurious clothes. In short, following fashion trends is not important at all. I honestly sometimes follow trends, but just when I like them and it really suits me. Follow a fashion trend but at the same time make it your own and never let yourself become a slave to fashion. Just wear what you want, and be happy with your choice. Whether your clothes are trendy or not, you need to prioritize your personal appearance over what the people around you choose.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not strange if you go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
everyone wearing the same clothes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can gauge your wealth and status. To my way of thinking, I am
personally
against that running after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is vital.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
definitely find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly to be on-trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is unfair to those who cannot afford the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
. If you’re a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
addict, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that every time a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
hits the high street, your bank balance
suddenly
takes a downturn. You can
easily
imagine how much money you spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
when a new clothing design
is released
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands every few weeks. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can even be a waste of money for salaried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for various expenses such as rent or electricity bills,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they assume this is an unwise expenditure.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
take away the ‘you’ from you; it means that you are losing the value of yourself. One of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
things about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is that it is a way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their personalities shine through;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
can take that away. Everyone
is born
with a unique characteristic and style,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if you’re wearing the same things everybody else is, where is your personal style? Choose something that can give off and reflect the real you
instead
of trying to conceal who you are behind the fashionable and luxurious clothes.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at all. I
honestly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
when I like them and it
really
suits me. Follow a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
yourself become a slave to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
wear what you want, and be happy with your choice. Whether your clothes are trendy or not, you need to prioritize your personal appearance over what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around you choose.

IELTS essay It is important to follow fashion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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